8 Life-Changing Skills You Can Learn in Less Than 6 Months

8 Life-Changing Skills You Can Learn in Less Than 6 Months

Photo credit lifehack.org

Everyone has the ability to learn a life-changing skill not just this year, but in the next 6 months.

By life-changing, I mean something that can have a positive impact in your life moving forward, even if it’s something you can’t envision today. Certain skills we can immediately reap the benefits of, while others will be life-changing when we least expect it.

In this article, we’ll share 8 life-changing skills you can learn in 6 months, where you can learn them, and how you can get started today.

Everyone has the ability to learn a life-changing skill not just this year, but in the next 6 months.

By life-changing, I mean something that can have a positive impact in your life moving forward, even if it’s something you can’t envision today. Certain skills we can immediately reap the benefits of, while others will be life-changing when we least expect it.

In this article, we’ll share 8 life-changing skills you can learn in 6 months, where you can learn them, and how you can get started today.

1. Speed reading

Bill Gates has been known to state that if he had one superpower, it would be the ability to read faster. What Bill and the rest of the mega-successful understand is that knowledge is power. The ability to process information faster from books, articles, and reports is what will help us learn faster, and therefore improve each aspect of our life faster as well.

Where you can start learning: Speed reading courses are becoming more popular, as more people realize how important it is with the limited time we have. You can check out free courses like Read Speeder or you can start learning how to use Spritzlet, which allows you to speed read articles online with a browser extension.

2. Public speaking

Research shows that people fear public speaking more than death itself. There’s something terrifying about being in front of dozens or hundreds of people, and exposing yourself completely. It’s when you’re most vulnerable, but learning how to public speak is a life-changer.

Warren Buffett has given advice to recent graduates that the number one skill you can have to succeed is public speaking skills. Everything from communication, confidence, and sales is developed when you develop your public speaking skills.

Where you can start learning: Luckily, there are great communities out there like Toastmasters that organize local meetups all around the world. You’ll find amazing public speakers that are looking to get to the next level to beginners that are just getting started. Check out Toastmasters’ website here.

3. Spanish

As the third most spoken language in the world, the ability to speak Spanish will allow you to reach over 500M people around the world. No matter where you live, knowing how to speak Spanish is becoming increasingly more important, with the Hispanic population and economy spreading quickly worldwide. If you’re living in the US, this is even more important, with over 30% of the population being Hispanic.

Spanish is also on this list, because it’s one of the easiest languages to learn. Sure, Mandarin is an important language to learn, but it’s an incredibly difficult one to learn. If we were to measure the level of importance and the time to learn for all the languages available, Spanish would make it to the top of the list.

One of the biggest reasons why people never reach fluency in any foreign language is: using the wrong method, and lack of time. In this free course on how to learn a new language in 90 days, there’s proven research which points out how humans best learn.

It turns out that humans retain only 5% of what we learn from lectures, 20% of what we learn from apps (visual cues), and 90% of what we learn from immediate immersion. Yet, how do 90% of learn a new foreign language? Language schools (lectures), books, Duolingo (apps), etc that don’t provide the real-life immersion required for our brains to learn faster.

Where to get started: If you want the most effective way to learn a language, learning from real-life interactions is the best way to do it. There are great websites like Rype, which offers Spanish coaching for busy people, solving the issue of lack of time and bringing real-life immersion to your screen. With Rype, you can book as many lessons as you want, at any time of the day, any day of the week, allowing you to fit it into your schedule, no matter how busy you are.

4. Accounting

If you’re looking to get into business, accounting is one of the core fundamentals you’ll need to succeed. While you don’t need to be an expert, you definitely should understand the basics.

This skill can also be used to manage your personal finances, to meet your financial goals, and having more control over your life.

Where to get started learning: If you didn’t learn accounting in school, no worries. You can either teach yourself using books, or check out free accounting courses online.

5. Microsoft Excel

Most people reading this probably have a basic understanding of Microsoft Excel Spreadsheet. While this is a good start, there are so many powerful functionalities that are hidden, which could make your life a lot easier.

Excel is also a great asset to have whenever you’re looking for a job, as many corporations rely on Excel to organize and manage multiple parts of the business.

Where to get started learning: With the popularity of Excel, you can find tons of free resources and videos online to learn. Check out Excel Exposure, Lynda, and Excel with Business.

6. Blogging/Vlogging

Blogging is a powerful tool if you want to spread your ideas, build your brand, or grow your business. Since it was introduced, blogging has taken on a life of its own, and today there are ~2M blog posts being written on a daily basis.

Where to get started learning: Anyone can start blogging today. All you need is a content-management system like WordPress, which is completely free. Personally, I think the best way to start learning how to blog is to just start writing. There are techniques you can learn on how to promote your blog, but the best way to grow your blog is to write great content.

7. Weight training

Yes, weight training is a skill. It’s not as advanced as learning how to code, nor will it take as long as learning a new language, if you just want to learn the basics.

We’re not promising that you’ll get a body like Arnold Schwarzenegger, but you will see much faster results for whatever goal you have, just by understanding how to workout properly. And of course, when you’re dealing with an activity that involves physical strain, you’ll always want to caution yourself.

Where to get started learning: There are amazing body builders that are sharing all of their secrets for free on Youtube. You can check outBodybuilding.com’s Youtube channel to get started.

8. Photo and video editing

In the digital world that we live in, from Youtube, Instagram, and Facebook, there is no avoiding photos and videos. In fact, social media has increasingly gone away from text sharing and almost everything to photo and video editing.

Where to get started learning: For photo editing, you can use Photoshop. For video editing, you can use iMovie or Final Cut Pro. Keep in mind, there are dozens of editing software tools for video and photo editing, but what’s more important are your editing skills, not the tool itself.

Check out education websites like CreativeLIVE or Skillshare, where you can learn from experts themselves on how to best use design and software tools.

Read More

Thrifting 101: Tips and Tricks

First off, what is thrifting? According to Wikipedia, it is the act of shopping at a thrift store, garage sale, flea market, or charitable organization, with the intent of discovering interesting items at a cheap price. Thrifting can also be a past-time hobby that is both rewarding and energizing. Each piece of attire is unique, and each one bought is helping to save the environment. Some thrift for profit, others thrift for personal style, and yet even others thrift just for the sake of it. Whatever the case, it’s always a win-win situation.
Here are some tips and tricks accumulated over the years as a self-proclaimed amateur professional thrifter.

1. Go with a goal, but don’t limit yourself.

You may have 20 black shirts, or perhaps 50 pairs of leather boots, or countless designer bags. Is it a good idea to continue adding to that collection? You decide! For every thrifting trip, it is always a good idea to come in with a vague list of items in mind (e.g. autumn scarves, sweaters, and cardigans). However, it is more than possible that you may come across a magnificent piece that doesn’t fit into the list, such as a gorgeous pair of sunglasses. Does that mean you shouldn’t make the purchase? Absolutely not! In fact, most off-season attire are priced competitively in order to sell them during the off-peak seasons — leading to additional savings.
In short, go with a mental list, but be open-minded to unique, random items that may spark your interest.

 

2. Thrifting gear is a must!

No, not a helmet or steel-toed boots — no one’s going to be injured. Thrifting gear is essential, as you simply cannot foresee how busy the store will get on a certain day (and definitely have this handy for those sale days!). It consists of form-fitting, comfortable clothing that can easily have additional clothing worn over it, so that you don’t have to spend extra time waiting for change rooms. Don’t go sockless; instead, wear relatively thin socks (or better yet, bring an extra pair), so when trying on footwear, sanitary issues can be reduced.

3. Bring Cash

“That’s a cute shirt! Only four dollars? What a steal!” Before you know it, you’ll be crossing your pre-existing budget in no time. Since the items in a thrift store are (for the most part) very reasonably priced, it is easy to assume that each item won’t make too much a difference in the final total. However, like dollar stores, this gives a deceptive illusion of frugality, when in reality, the numbers add up quickly. To avoid feeling guilty of overspending (happening often with bank cards), take it from Macklemore and just bring the bills:

“I’m gonna pop some tags, only got twenty dollars in my pocket…”

4. Familiarize!

Every thrift store is different: from items in stock, to hours, to stock days. Don’t be shy, and be sure to politely inquire a sales associate concerning how the store is run and when its inventory is being replenished; ask about sale days and if any membership discounts exist. Once a relationship is established with the employees at the store, communication becomes much easier, and sometimes, they will let you know of special upcoming sales that aren’t available to the general public.
Talk about customer loyalty perks!

5. Enjoy the moment.

It sounds cliche, but it is true. It may be of great pleasure to get caught up in the potential number of dollars saved and the feeling of fabulous frugality, but the best thing about thrifting is the happiness and unpredictability of the treasure hunt. Take in your surroundings. Look at the splashes of surrounding color. Feel the various textures of the fabrics. Listen to the ambient chatter of fellow thrifters. Even if you come back with an empty bag at the end of the day, the experience would have still been fulfilling nevertheless.
Relax. Thrifting is a journey, not a battle.
It’s time to start the search!
Featured photo credit: The BlueGrass Situation via bluegrass-assets.s3.amazonaws.com

Read More

The World Is Setting You Up To Fail – How To Fight Back

It’s a great time to be alive! You can do almost anything you want to, while exploring hobbies and living a full and happy life. Nonetheless, many people find themselves lost, bored, confused and frustrated. Many more are finding it hard to achieve any type of measurable success. What gives? Is it possible that modern life is simultaneously affording us with more opportunities for success while also setting us up to fail? Is it possible we are being bombarded with mindset-changing paradigms that are hurting our chances of achievement?
Here are four ways the modern world is setting you up for failure:

Instant Gratification

It is very easy and cheap to buy that snack, marathon that show (hello, Netflix weekends!) and distract yourself in the most pleasurable ways. This should be a good thing, but it’s also a really bad thing. Why? Because of instant gratification. A lot of us are hooked on that “high” that comes when you do something to please yourself, and it’s destroying our ability to work through things that are hard in order to achieve our goals. Instead, we find ourselves fixed on the pleasure of the moment. We can’t seem to focus for a long time; we can’t seem to endure through unpleasant activities.
But here’s the thing: we have to. No way around it. There is no success that comes with only doing things that please you. Even if you love what you do, you’ll still have to write that report or that budget, you’ll still have to deal with that one client. By bombarding us with opportunities for instant gratification, the modern world is setting us up for failure.

 

Fight back:

Schedule time for pleasure and reward yourself for effective work. The Pomodoro method is great for this. Have your breaks be time to check your Instagram, text friends, watch an episode of a show, etc. This way, you’ll easily balance out the unpleasant, but necessary, and the pleasurable but futile.

Easy Rides

In a world which idolizes the Kardashians, we see people who seem to not do “anything” all day have a boat load of money and success. It’s easy to get roped in to the idea that we should be after this “easy ride,” but there is usually no such a thing. Unless you were born extremely rich, everyone has to work for something they want.
Those Instagram stars spend hours editing and expertly posing for pictures. YouTubers spend hours editing and creating content. Bloggers have to learn Photoshop or HTML and also spend tons of time on image management and content creation. Even the Kardashians carefully manage apps, beauty and clothing lines, appearances, etc. There’s always work involved. But because these people make it seem like their success was effortless, lots of young people think that it’s possible to achieve greatness in an effortless way. It’s not. If you think success is effortless, you’ll be less inclined to put in any effort at all. The modern world is setting you up to fail by making you think success can be an easy ride.

Fight back:

When you catch yourself expecting things to be easy, go through the steps in your head of what it will actually take to get to where you want to go. Bypass your expectations of how things should go, and think of the actual necessary steps. Then, set SMART (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, and Time-bound) intermediate goals to achieve your end goal.  Another good idea is to also get hooked on biographies. Nothing makes you understand the process of success more than reading about all the obstacles a person had to go through to achieve success.

Viral Successes

To be fair, sometimes a person does achieve success through an easy ride. There are several Vine, Instagram and YouTube stars that became famous after one particular video or photo, through very little effort of their own. And these types of successes keep us chained to the idea that success must be swift and big to be worthwhile. However, there’s very little we can do to predict who will become viral and who won’t. Therefore, we cannot expect our success to be viral. We cannot get upset or disappointed when something we do doesn’t automatically blow up with success. We only have the right to predict what we control.
The viral generation is setting you up to fail by making you think success has to be explosive and instant to be gratifying. But to every viral success, there are thousands more where success only came after deliberate, excruciating, constant honing of their craft, and after a lot of trial and error.

Fight back:

Focus on the end goal, not on how to get there. Again, set SMART goals and look at them every day. That will help you get focused on the process you actually have control over. And if along the way you’re inducted into the viral hall of fame, great for you. But never let that be your focus.

Follow Your Passion

Out of the many ways the world is setting you up to fail, this is the most devastating. The idea that you have to follow your passion is leading many young people down a path of demotivating failure and deception. Running from passion to passion, waiting for that lightning moment where they’ll fall in love with something and will be so successful working on their passion that work will never feel like work. The reality, however, is far far far from this.
Angela Duckworth, in her book Grit shows us that passion truly means the act of fostering your passion, often through a lot of tedious work. Instead of looking for what you feel passionate about, you can pick something you like and foster a true passion for it – by working at it. Most successful people that are truly passionate about what they do foster a deliberate passion by putting in work that does feel like work every single day.
It’s very important to understand that there is nothing wrong with you if you don’t have a passion in life. There’s nothing wrong with not knowing what you want to do for the rest of your life since you were two years old. There’s nothing wrong with not feeling passion for any one career. You can foster passion by finding something you enjoy and then putting in the work to reach an end goal in your chosen path. The modern world is setting you up to fail by making you think your work is not worthwhile if it’s not your undying passion.

Fight back:

Pay attention to what you don’t like. You really need to be in tune with that and, often, you instinctively know what you don’t like. If you don’t like it, don’t waste time doing it. You cannot foster a passion for what you don’t like.  Once you figure that out, then make a list of things you like and would enjoy doing. This is the time to do some soul searching, but don’t beat yourself up if one of those things don’t excite you like a godly calling. This is the time to get realistic and pick something that you think would be the best fit for you and your life. Then, think about how to become successful in that field and have a major end goal in mind. Focus on that goal, every single day. Work hard to get better by doing lots and lots of work – work that will feel like work.
If what you chose is a great pick for you, it will get easier and easier to foster your passion. If not, and you find yourself mid-career hating that thing, then adapt and change. You’ll have more experience and know yourself better and will be in a better position to foster a new passion. The most important thing is to know that passion is not the end-all-be-all of success.
Did you find yourself falling into these modern world mental traps? If so, you can fight back! By detaching yourself from a viral, instant gratification, passion-obsessed, easy-ride-loving culture, you’ll find yourself in control of your future and your success.
Featured photo credit: Visions Service Adventures via flickr.com

Read More

 

Sometimes You Have To Let Go Even If You Still Love The Person

 Photo credit lifehack.org

The process of letting go of someone you love is one of life’s most painful experiences. When you have invested a considerable amount of time and emotional energy in someone, the prospect of living without them may be unthinkable. You may look back on the memories you shared, the plans you made, and feel nothing but psychic agony. If you are newly broken up, envisaging a new future may feel close to impossible. You may find yourself ruminating on what you could have done differently, the arguments you may have had, and the things you regret saying.
Every relationship is unique, and there are many reasons why cutting ties may be the kindest solution for all parties. Maybe you discovered as time went on that your values and dreams did not align. At first you may have hoped that you could overcome your differences, but in the end they drove you apart. Sometimes, love just isn’t enough and you come to the sad conclusion that it’s time to part ways. Perhaps you love one another and even revel in your differences, but seem unable to communicate or resolve conflict. Maybe you had to end the relationship for another reason entirely. Whatever the trigger, the emotional fallout will be considerable. This is completely normal. Be kind to yourself, and expect a period of emotional turbulence.

What are you really releasing when you let go?

Letting go of a person involves letting go of hope. We may have believed this person to be our soulmate, or at least someone upon whom we could rely to stick around for a long time. It can be tremendously difficult to face the stark reality that we need to carve out a new path for ourselves, and allow the other person to do the same. You may be feeling lonely, even when surrounded by friends and family who want to comfort you. If you can, allow yourself to be nourished by their support.
Taking the momentous decision to let go of someone you love is a brave step. In doing so, you are proving to yourself that you are capable of creating your own happiness, and that you do not need to rely on someone else to make you feel as though life is worth living. In evaluating your relationship, deciding that you would be best off apart and then letting them go, you are demonstrating that you have faith in the universe. When you summon the courage to move on from a relationship that isn’t working, you are affirming that you are worthy of the best life has to offer, and that you are confident that with time you can move on to a more constructive relationship.

Why letting go can herald a beautiful new beginning

Letting go of harmful relationships allows you to move forwards a brighter future. Remember the old saying, “If you love someone, let them go?” If you look deep within yourself, you will realize that in freeing yourself and the other person from a relationship that is holding you both back, you are helping two people to create a happier, more authentic life. In this way, letting go of someone you love can be an act of supreme care and kindness. Every relationship can teach us something, and occasionally the whole purpose of a relationship may come only when it ends. Although it may feel as though your world is ending when you break up with someone you love, over time you will realize that you are merely embarking on a new beginning. Let the lessons you have learned from your interactions with this person serve to guide you in forming healthier relationships in the future, and rest assured that you can and will find love again. See this painful period as a step closer to getting what you really need and want from life.

Read More

 

The 11 Most Authentic Things You Will Ever See

 

Like many of you, sometimes we get caught up in the everyday happenings of life. We hustle through the bustle and never take a second to stop and look at what we might be missing, let alone take a look back once in awhile.
Life isn’t just about getting through each day as quickly as we can. It’s about something more. Something we forget about and yet need.
Over the last couple of years, I have found myself not needing to be so involved with life. Instead, I found myself falling in love with life’s little moments and the emotions that come with them. I am connected to those moments forever.
No matter who we are, some things cannot be faked or hidden. They are real and genuine and usually catch us at moments we could not have planned. They remind us what it means to feel something, to relate to it, and to allow it to stain our hearts and souls, which most things never will.
No matter the language we speak or where we grow up in the world, these everyday human moments are universal. They connect us all to one another in ways we couldn’t describe, let alone fabricate.
The most authentic things are found everywhere.

1. Tears

For most of us, we think tears only come when we are sad. It is normal to shed tears for the loss of a loved one or something beautiful now gone. But tears are also found in moments of pure bliss, too. Like when a soldier returns home to surprise loved ones after a long deployment.
It’s been said that “the eyes are the windows to the soul.” If that’s the case, then tears are the love found in our hearts. Some tears come more silently than others, but no matter how they come, we know they are expressing what our hearts feel.

2. Smiles

I’m not talking about the fake, pretend one that comes when you say, “Good Morning!” to every co-worker just because you feel like you have to. No, I’m talking about the one when people are genuinely happy to see one another. It could have been a day or 10 days, but you know that connection between two people when you see it. Some smiles light up every room — it’s a light that shines through any amount of darkness and we just feel better when we see it.

3. Surprise

Genuine shock is something we see in the faces of people who are victims of playful pranks, wonderful surprises, and utter shock. Whether it is an announcement of expected grandchildren, a small get-together for a 50th birthday party, or just showing up to a friend’s work with their favorite lunch in hand. Nothing can beat doing something for someone else just because you can, and their reaction to feeling your love is absolutely priceless.

4. Embarrassment

Let’s face it, our body sometimes reacts without us really wanting it to. When our cheeks turn bright red and we feel like everyone is staring at us, we are showing the world our true emotions. Maybe we struck out, giving the other team the win, lost the big contract for our company, or fell while trying to dance for the first time. When people are watching us and we don’t measure up to even our own standards, we are ashamed of our behavior or our lack of measuring up. Being embarrassed is a very human emotion.

5. Change

Whether found in a single sprout popping from the ground in spring, or something more personal found in someone’s journey, we can’t help but notice when something or someone is different. Growth is found in many different ways and can be a long process at times. Attitudes influence ideas which influence actions, and before long we have something other than what we had before. Some changes are more subtle while others are more drastic. Yet, when we see a change in something, we understand the concept of time, as it is needed to take place to allow this process to occur.

6. Beauty

You just can’t hide true beauty. We are in awe when we stand with it, somehow swallowed up in its greatness. Its majestic and timeless grace is found in the simplest of places.
Some days, we have to look hard to find it, but we find beauty in the heart of a woman who refuses to quit no matter the struggles she has endured. We see beauty in the soft petal of the flower ready to bloom and the red veins in the maple leaf, having just fallen from the tree from which it grew.

7. Determination

Watching someone fight through something hard or something that seems impossible inspires us all. The authentic will to never give up isn’t something that comes easy. When the body wants to quit and is refusing to do what you ask of it, pure grit is the only thing pushing you forward. Winning isn’t everything when you see someone refusing to quit. No matter how long it takes, they aren’t done yet.

8. Joy

You can’t fake joy. It is found in the simplest of things and you know that happiness — that bliss — when you see it. Even if just watching someone open up a gift you know they will love, you are connected to that moment because of the elation felt. The energy is electric and contagious. It is usually followed by elated screams, jumping up and down, and celebration. Seeing joy in others will warm your heart every day.

9. Vulnerability

It can be difficult to let someone see us for everything we are. When we are afraid to let someone get that close to us, and yet wanting to take that chance too, it can tear at us in ways we may not fully comprehend.
When we share our stories and are real with every detail, we begin to understand what it means to allow someone in. Letting others see our faults, our weaknesses, and even the crappy choices we have made in life requires an ownership to the life we’ve lived instead of casting blame on someone else.

10. Courage

Moments in life require great courage, and when we see it, we understand what it took to take the actions we did or to say the words we shared. Found on every battlefield and on every inner city street, when we do the extraordinary and take a stand, we show what it takes to be brave. In hospital rooms where the ill fight diseases, we find courage in the tiniest of bodies. In the worst of domestic situations, we find people who break free of abuse. In the simplest of choices we make every day, we see courage everywhere.

11. Love

We see love in the embrace between friends and family. We see love in the eyes of the bride and groom on their wedding day. We see love in the touch of the tiny finger held by a bigger one. We see love in the holding of hands of lovers, who don’t need to say anything. We find love in the giving to others without condition or requirement. Love is felt and connects us all in ways we sometimes are afraid to admit, but we know it’s there. And we know we need it.
There are a lot of things in life we can fake. Things we can pretend to be and hide behind. But ask yourself why these 11 things inspire us in the way they do? In this massive world of lies and deception, we crave the truth. Those things full of honesty and virtue that cannot be found in anything made up. We are tired of living in less than a genuine world, yet we forget the true meaning of authentic lives.
We look at life all the time, but when was the last time you really took the time to see life?
Be inspired by the genuine and the real. Authenticity is out there. We just have to see it.
Featured photo credit: Madi Robson via unsplash.com

Read More

 

7 Signs You Will Probably Have A Long-Lasting Marriage

 Photo credit lifehack.org

Everyone wants a long and happy marriage.
According to reports in the Huffington Posts and the NY Times the divorce rate has actually been declining for several years.
This is great news!
But wouldn’t it be nice if there were some science behind how to make a marriage last? Or maybe a formula that could be applied or a special pill designed specifically to foster long lasting marriages?
Andrew Francis and Hugo Mialon, two researchers at Emory University studied 3,000 married couples in the U.S. to determine some of the factors that can help make a marriage last. Their demographic statistics were compiled and their findings are actually quite interesting.
And while there is no recipe or secret to making a marriage last, there are some signs you may be on the right track:

1. You dated at least three years prior to becoming engaged

Research shows that couples who dated for at least three years prior to their engagement are 39 percent less likely to get divorced than couples who dated less than a year before getting engaged.
According to Psychology Today, there is no hard and fast rule on how long a couple should wait to get engaged or married.  However, most experts agree that anything shorter than two years drastically increases the odds of divorce.
Dating for a while before saying “I do,”  indicates a level of planning that suggests the couple is in it for the long haul.

2. You attend church regularly

The statistics here are clear.  Those who attend church regularly and are active in their faith are 46% less likely to divorce.
An article, on this topic, published in Christianity Today cites the findings from a study conducted by Dr. Wilcox, Director of The National Marriage Project. The study finds that “religiously unaffiliated Americans are the most likely to divorce.”
Also, when considering how much religion factors into a couple’s ability to make a marriage last, you must understand that it isn’t religion per se that holds the marriage together. Rather, it is the belief system of the church and its views concerning marriage and family. This belief system is tied to the support network that accompanies regular church involvement.
When couples engage in a belief system that frowns on divorce and are surrounded by individuals who reinforce and encourage marriage–the chance of divorce diminishes.

3. You have a large wedding

On the surface, this factor doesn’t seem to make sense. However, consider the following statistic: couples who elope are 12.5 times more likely to end up divorced than couples who get married at a wedding with 200+ people.
Having a large group of family and friends who support the marriage is critically important to long-term marital stability.

4. You have an inexpensive wedding

This factor seems to directly contradict point three. But the research data doesn’t lie. The study found that the more you spend on a wedding the higher your chances of divorce become.
The study states that couples who spend $20,000 or more on their wedding are 46 percent more likely to get a divorce. Adversely, couples who spend $5,000 or less are 18 percent less likely to divorce.
Researchers Francis and Mialon say one possible explanation for their findings is that post-wedding debt can stoke marital tensions.

5. You have a honeymoon immediately after the wedding ceremony

Going on a honeymoon decreases the likelihood of a couple splitting up by 41 percent.
There’s a reason the honeymoon comes right after getting hitched. There is all of this wedding stress that builds up, followed by a huge and extravagant party involving all of your family and friends. All of this stress and pressure can really take a toll on the newlyweds. A honeymoon is a time of relaxation, re-connection and release.

6. You have a combined annual income of over $125K

Its no secret– disputes over finances are one of the leading causes of divorce.
Couples with an annual income north of 125K are 51 percent less likely to come undone. And the more a couple earns the lower their chances of divorce become.

7. Inner beauty is valued over external beauty

This is a no brainier. If the physical attractiveness of your spouse is high on your list of priorities you may as well prepare to become a divorce statistic.
In fact, men are 50 percent more likely to end up divorced when they site their partner’s looks as being an important part of their decision to marry.

Read More

 

The Reality Of Marriage That You Won’t See People Posting

 

 photo credit lifehack.org

Marriage and social media

Anyone can post an idealized view of marriage or long-term relationships on Facebook, Twitter, and other social media. However, in reality life is often a little different. Read on to discover five ways in which real-life marriage doesn’t always quite live up to the cute photos and quotes posted online.

Arguing is an art form

When you live together, arguments are inevitable. Spending hours every day in the same space is a recipe for inevitable conflict. It doesn’t matter how well you get on or how much you love one another, there will be times at which you end up yelling at your spouse for the most ridiculous and trivial of reasons. Most petty arguments are over within minutes and forgotten within days, but they feel pretty important at the time. You are especially likely to engage in petty fights if both of you are the type of person who always feels compelled to have the last word. Arguing over whose turn it is to take out the garbage can become a matter of supreme importance.

Falling asleep together comes with its own soundtrack

What could be more romantic than falling asleep next to your spouse at the end of a long day? Well, as peaceful and idyllic as the image might be, the accompanying noises and other nuisances aren’t so romantic. Behind every cute photo of a couple cuddled up together in bed lies the very real probability that at least one person snores, snuffles, hogs the quilt or is in some way an antisocial sleeper. These aren’t just one-off annoyances either. When you live with someone, you have to tolerate their quirks every night for years on end.

In-depth conversations turn into deep sleep

The idea of coming home to your partner at the end of the working day and spending a few hours of quality time together in the evening is a lovely thought. Couples who post about their cozy evenings in with their beloved seem so blessed! In theory, you can converse on all the important issues of the day, share your innermost thoughts and daydream about the life you want to build together. The reality? You are both so tired from working, looking after the kids and keeping up with housework that it’s easier to pass out into a deep sleep than it is to string a coherent sentence together.

Mess is inevitable

If you ever see a post featuring a couple proudly proclaiming that they have tackled the yardwork or divested the house of all dirt and dust, bear in mind that this doesn’t reflect everyday reality for most couples. Yes, some people manage to team up on a regular basis and cross all those household jobs from the to-do list, but the vast majority of us take a rather different approach to the housework. In all likelihood, those happy couples who appear united against the ceaseless onslaught of domestic duties have those evenings in which they are far too tired to do anything other than come home, collapse on the couch, and resign themselves to living in a state of chaos until one of them finally manages to catch up on their sleep and summons the energy to wield a vacuum cleaner.

Read More

This Quality Of Your Man Can Predict Whether Your Marriage Will Last Or Not

 Photo credit lifehack.org

If you’re looking for something serious and don’t want to contribute to divorce statistics, besides all those boxes that you’d like to tick about your future husband, this is one that you should pay especial attention to. That is if you want to be a little more sure about your husband than you are buying your avocados.
If you’re looking for a long-term partner, you need to look for someone who’s used to long-term devotion and endurance in different areas of life, not just romantic love. When approximately half of American marriages end up in divorce, in our culture of instant gratification, that’s no surprise.According to recent studies, the passion and determination to pursue long-term goals is a powerful predictor of whether someone will drop out in the tough times of a relationship or succeed to live through the stormy phases. What some researchers call “the grit effect” is not only a variable to retention in marriage, but also in the military, workplace sales, and high school.^[1]

Those who show grit, are more likely to succeed in marriage and other areas of life.

Those who experience frustration, doubt and confusion not as a sign that it’s time to quit, but are just natural phases of a learning process, are much more likely to maintain loyalty to their goals. This is why lifetime educational attainment is correlated with grit, and inversely with lifetime career changes and divorce.

 

Perceiving frustration as a natural part of a learning process is a healthy trait.

In the same way, people who are grittier tend to regard problems as challenges, rather than feeling frustrated and worn out by the stress of battling the problem, and they tend to be more proactive in the pursuit of a solution.^[3]
Interestingly, having this characterising of being able to teeth-gritting through the tough times seems to pay off, as demonstrated in a study by the Marriage Foundation. In this study, 7 out of 10 of the unhappy parents who manage to stay together reported to be happy 10 years on after the storm; 27% of these reported being “extremely happy.”^[4]

Pays off to stay together through the tough times.

So if you’re considering whether your boyfriend is husband material or not, you might want to look at his past and see if there’s a pattern of keeping a devotion to his long-term goals, or if there’s a pattern of constant quitting. That will give you a good idea of whether he’ll have what it takes to survive through the rough times or if he’s likely to drop out.
You can never be too sure of how life will turn out and how much you and your partner will change with it. But when the years start to pass, responsibilities start to weigh and every day starts to look the same, that’s when being with a strong, gritty man, and being a gritty woman yourself, will play a significant role in the success or failure of your marriage.

You can’t predict the future, but personality can tell you a lot.

If you’re both devoted and passionate people who have been resisting tough times and persevering on the pursuit of your goals, chances are you’re going to live happily ever after.
Do you have grit? Do you believe your significant other is gritty as well? Are there other qualities other than grit you feel determines the success of a relationship?

Read More

Eight Ways to Improve Your Marriage Before it Begins

I was over at my brother’s house a few days ago. While doing all the things that brothers do (drinking beer, reminiscing about growing up, and goofing around) we got to talking about our current lives. He and I both got married within the last five years and honestly, both of our wives are everything that we could ask for:

• kind
• smart
• caring
• loving

I’ve often been told that hindsight is 20/20. Believing that, I wondered what life would be like if I had known how to answer all the questions that I have had to answer while being married:

1. Does this look good on me?
2. What have you planned for date night?
3. Are you even listening to me?
4. What did I just say?

In talking to other men, I realize that I am not alone in wishing I had known the answers to these ahead of time. Saying that, here are eight pieces of advice that will make your life easier.

Learning to recognize the signs

Just because you haven’t been verbally told something doesn’t mean that it isn’t an issue. To avoid upsetting your partner, you must learn to read them. It sounds simple in theory, but I assure you it is more difficult than reading a Sanskrit document. Pay attention to everything. This includes, but is not limited to:

• an eyebrow raise
• tonal switch in the voice
• sighs
• arms crossing

Your success hinges on your ability to read your spouse.

 

A good love story

Yes, the “chick-flick”. Love ‘em or hate ‘em, you will have to endure one or two of these in your lifetime. My advice is to either learn to become very good at hiding the fact you are sleeping or, pay just enough attention that you can answer the pop quiz at the end of the movie.

The t-shirt

There is a good chance that your favorite t-shirt will also become their favorite t-shirt. Accept this and understand that there is no point in asking where it is. Instead, teach yourself to become automatic enough to walk over to the laundry basket and pull it out. Don’t bother checking it with the smell test either. It will usually lead to a series of questions that you don’t want.

Dog farts

Don’t laugh. On occasion, the dog did it might actually be the truth. In fact, in my experience I know that my two are proud when they do, but that’s not the point. Know that when it wasn’t the dog, how you bring it up directly reflects how the rest of the night will go. You must decide how often to bring it up and under what circumstance you do. Fyi: the answer is “as close to zero as you can make it”.

Your job

I shovel the snow. Period. Do I enjoy it? Doesn’t matter.
Relationships and marriage are built on sacrifice. It could come in the form of freezing in the middle of winter, or not watching your team play on Sunday. If you want your marriage to last, learn to make sacrifices.

Confirming the grocery list

Whenever you go to the grocery store, do not forget your phone. Without fail, you will have to make a phone call that goes something like this, “Which brand of ______ do you want me to pick up?”
Take notes and don’t forget what she’s said. It only makes it worse if you have to call back or bring home the wrong item.

How/when to pick your battles

Before engaging in any sort of battle, ask yourself, “Is this really worth it? What benefit will come to me because of it? What will I be giving up later down the road if I fight back?” Contrary to what you may believe, you can’t always win. You must learn to either:

• Humbly accept defeat.
• Create an outstanding reason that you are correct.

My suggestion would be to go with the hidden third option. Learn to compromise as much as you can.

Chocolates and flowers

According to Gary Chapman, each of us has a love language. It is:

• receiving gifts
• quality time
• words of affirmation
• acts of service
• physical touch

While it sounds a little too corny to be true, I can promise you that it is in your best interest to figure out which one your spouse is. It will make things a lot easier for both of you.

In closing

This list isn’t foolproof. In actuality, it is only a brief guideline for the challenges that lie ahead of you. However, while marriage is hard work, its rewards are worth every moment.
The only other piece of advice that I can give you is to make sure you take some time to let her know that you appreciate her.
Featured photo credit: www.pixabay.com via pixabay.com

Read More

8 Life-Changing Skills You Can Learn in Less Than 6 Months

 Photo credit lifehack.org

Everyone has the ability to learn a life-changing skill not just this year, but in the next 6 months.
By life-changing, I mean something that can have a positive impact in your life moving forward, even if it’s something you can’t envision today. Certain skills we can immediately reap the benefits of, while others will be life-changing when we least expect it.
In this article, we’ll share 8 life-changing skills you can learn in 6 months, where you can learn them, and how you can get started today.

1. Speed reading

Bill Gates has been known to state that if he had one superpower, it would be the ability to read faster. What Bill and the rest of the mega-successful understand is that knowledge is power. The ability to process information faster from books, articles, and reports is what will help us learn faster, and therefore improve each aspect of our life faster as well.
Where you can start learning: Speed reading courses are becoming more popular, as more people realize how important it is with the limited time we have. You can check out free courses like Read Speeder or you can start learning how to use Spritzlet, which allows you to speed read articles online with a browser extension.

2. Public speaking

Research shows that people fear public speaking more than death itself. There’s something terrifying about being in front of dozens or hundreds of people, and exposing yourself completely. It’s when you’re most vulnerable, but learning how to public speak is a life-changer.
Warren Buffett has given advice to recent graduates that the number one skill you can have to succeed is public speaking skills. Everything from communication, confidence, and sales is developed when you develop your public speaking skills.
Where you can start learning: Luckily, there are great communities out there like Toastmasters that organize local meetups all around the world. You’ll find amazing public speakers that are looking to get to the next level to beginners that are just getting started. Check out Toastmasters’ website here.

3. Spanish

As the third most spoken language in the world, the ability to speak Spanish will allow you to reach over 500M people around the world. No matter where you live, knowing how to speak Spanish is becoming increasingly more important, with the Hispanic population and economy spreading quickly worldwide. If you’re living in the US, this is even more important, with over 30% of the population being Hispanic.
Spanish is also on this list, because it’s one of the easiest languages to learn. Sure, Mandarin is an important language to learn, but it’s an incredibly difficult one to learn. If we were to measure the level of importance and the time to learn for all the languages available, Spanish would make it to the top of the list.
One of the biggest reasons why people never reach fluency in any foreign language is: using the wrong method, and lack of time. In this free course on how to learn a new language in 90 days, there’s proven research which points out how humans best learn.

It turns out that humans retain only 5% of what we learn from lectures, 20% of what we learn from apps (visual cues), and 90% of what we learn from immediate immersion. Yet, how do 90% of learn a new foreign language? Language schools (lectures), books, Duolingo (apps), etc that don’t provide the real-life immersion required for our brains to learn faster.
Where to get started: If you want the most effective way to learn a language, learning from real-life interactions is the best way to do it. There are great websites like Rype, which offers Spanish coaching for busy people, solving the issue of lack of time and bringing real-life immersion to your screen. With Rype, you can book as many lessons as you want, at any time of the day, any day of the week, allowing you to fit it into your schedule, no matter how busy you are.

 

4. Accounting

If you’re looking to get into business, accounting is one of the core fundamentals you’ll need to succeed. While you don’t need to be an expert, you definitely should understand the basics.
This skill can also be used to manage your personal finances, to meet your financial goals, and having more control over your life.
Where to get started learning: If you didn’t learn accounting in school, no worries. You can either teach yourself using books, or check out free accounting courses online.

5. Microsoft Excel

Most people reading this probably have a basic understanding of Microsoft Excel Spreadsheet. While this is a good start, there are so many powerful functionalities that are hidden, which could make your life a lot easier.
Excel is also a great asset to have whenever you’re looking for a job, as many corporations rely on Excel to organize and manage multiple parts of the business.
Where to get started learning: With the popularity of Excel, you can find tons of free resources and videos online to learn. Check out Excel Exposure, Lynda, and Excel with Business.

6. Blogging/Vlogging

Blogging is a powerful tool if you want to spread your ideas, build your brand, or grow your business. Since it was introduced, blogging has taken on a life of its own, and today there are ~2M blog posts being written on a daily basis.
Where to get started learning: Anyone can start blogging today. All you need is a content-management system like WordPress, which is completely free. Personally, I think the best way to start learning how to blog is to just start writing. There are techniques you can learn on how to promote your blog, but the best way to grow your blog is to write great content.

7. Weight training

Yes, weight training is a skill. It’s not as advanced as learning how to code, nor will it take as long as learning a new language, if you just want to learn the basics.
We’re not promising that you’ll get a body like Arnold Schwarzenegger, but you will see much faster results for whatever goal you have, just by understanding how to workout properly. And of course, when you’re dealing with an activity that involves physical strain, you’ll always want to caution yourself.
Where to get started learning: There are amazing body builders that are sharing all of their secrets for free on Youtube. You can check out Bodybuilding.com’s Youtube channel to get started.

8. Photo and video editing

In the digital world that we live in, from Youtube, Instagram, and Facebook, there is no avoiding photos and videos. In fact, social media has increasingly gone away from text sharing and almost everything to photo and video editing.
Where to get started learning: For photo editing, you can use Photoshop. For video editing, you can use iMovie or Final Cut Pro. Keep in mind, there are dozens of editing software tools for video and photo editing, but what’s more important are your editing skills, not the tool itself.
Check out education websites like CreativeLIVE or Skillshare, where you can learn from experts themselves on how to best use design and software tools.

Read More