20 Things to Remember If You Love a Person with ADD

 

 Photo credit lifehack.org

It’s a fact; a person with ADD is hard to love. You never know what to say. It’s like walking through a minefield. You tiptoe around; unsure which step (or word) will be the one that sets off an explosion of emotion. It’s something you try to avoid.
People who have ADD/ADHD are suffering. Life is more difficult for them than the average person. Everything is intense and magnified. Their brilliant minds are constantly in gear creating, designing, thinking and never resting. Imagine what it would feel like to have a merry-go-round in your mind that never stops spinning.
From emotional outbursts to polar opposite extremes; ADD presents several behaviors that can be harmful to relationships. ADD is a mysterious condition of opposites and extremes. For instance, when it comes to concentration, people with ADD cannot concentrate when they are emotional or when their thoughts are distracted. However, when they are interested in a specific topic, they zone in so deep that it’s hard to pull them out of that zone. Starting a project is a challenge; but stopping it is an even bigger challenge.
True love is unconditional, but ADD presents situations that test your limits of love. Whether it’s your child, boyfriend, girlfriend, spouse or soon-to-be spouse, ADD tests every relationship. The best way to bring peace into both your lives is to learn a new mindset to deal with the emotional roller-coaster that ADD brings all-day-every-day.
Understanding what a person with ADD feels like will help you become more patient, tolerant, compassionate, and loving. Your relationships will become more enjoyable and peaceful. This is what goes on in the mind of a person with ADD/ADHD:

1. They have an active mind

The ADD brain doesn’t stop. There’s no on/off switch. There are no brakes that bring it to a halt. It is a burden that one must learn to manage.

 

2. They listen but don’t absorb what is being said

A person with ADD will look at you, hear your words, watch your lips move, but after the first five words their mind is on a journey. They can still hear you speak, but their thoughts are in outer space. They are thinking about how your lips are moving or how your hair is out of place.

3. They have difficulty staying on task

Instead of keeping the focus on what’s in front of them, people with ADD are staring at the colors in the painting on the wall. Like walking through a labyrinth, they start moving in one direction, but keep changing directions to find the way out.

4. They become anxious easily

As deep thinkers, they are sensitive to whatever is going on around them. Being in a noisy restaurant can sound like you are standing in the front row at a Metallica concert. A depressing news snippet can set them into end-of-the-world mode.

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5. They can’t concentrate when they are emotional

If there is something worrisome going on, or if they are upset, a person with ADD cannot think of anything else. This makes concentration on work, conversation, and social situations almost impossible.

6. They concentrate too intensely

When the doors of their mind open, the person with ADD dives in like a scuba diver jumping into the deep ocean.

7. They have difficulty stopping a task when they are in the zone

And under the deep ocean is where they stay for hours. Even when their oxygen is running low, if they are enjoying the view, they won’t come up for air until they’re almost out of oxygen.

8. They are unable to regulate their emotions

For a person with ADD, their emotions are flying wild, out of proportion and cannot be contained. The tangled wires in their brilliant brains make thought and feelings difficult to process. They need extra time to get their systems up and running properly.

9. They have verbal outbursts

Their intense emotions are hard to regulate. Since they impulsively say whatever they think, they often say things they later regret. It’s almost impossible for them to edit their words before they release them.

10. They have social anxiety

Feeling uncomfortable knowing that they are different, people with ADD are often uncomfortable in social situations. They are afraid they will say something foolish or react inappropriately. Holding back feels safer.

11. They are deeply intuitive

For people with ADD, the surface is an invisible exterior that they penetrate. They see beyond it. This is the most enjoyable aspect of ADD. This inspirational trait is what makes creative geniuses. Inventors, artists, musicians, and writers thrive in this zone.

12. They think out of the box

Another wonderful aspect of ADD is that because they think differently, their abstract minds see solutions to problems that the concrete thinker cannot see.

13. They are impatient and fidgety

Annoyed easily, wanting things to happen immediately, and constantly playing with their phones, twirling their hair, or bouncing their leg up and down; a person with ADD needs constant motion. It’s a calming Zen activity for them.

14. They are physically sensitive

Pencils feel heavy in their hand. Fibers in fabric that most people wouldn’t feel can be itchy. Beds are bumpy. Food has textures you can’t imagine. Like The Princess and the Pea, they can feel a pea under twenty mattresses.

15. They are disorganized

Piles are their favorite method of organizing. Once a task is complete, papers related to it are placed in a pile, where they stay until the piles grow too high. That’s when the person with ADD becomes overwhelmed, frustrated, and cleans up. People with ADD have to be careful to not become hoarders. It’s hard for a person with ADD to keep things in order because their brain doesn’t function in an orderly manner.

16. They need space to pace

When talking on the phone or having a conversation, people with ADD think better when they are in motion. Movement is calming and brings clarity to their thoughts.

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17. They avoid tasks

Making decisions or completing tasks on time is a struggle. Not because they are lazy or irresponsible, but because their minds are full of options and possibilities. Choosing one can be problematic. It’s easy to avoid making decisions because they are over-thinkers. They obsess and dwell in the depths of their own minds.

18. They can’t remember simple tasks

Another paradoxical trait of ADD is memory. People with ADD can’t remember to pick up their clothes at the cleaners, milk at the grocery store, or appointments. On the other hand; they remember every comment, quote, and phone number they heard during the day. No matter how many post-its or calendar reminders they set; their distracted mind is always elsewhere. Visible items are easier to remember. That’s why they have fifteen windows open on their desktop.

19. They have many tasks going on at the same time

Due to the constant activity in their mind, once a task is finished, they are ready to move on to the next task without closing up the prior task. The more going on at once, the better. Multi-tasking is one of their favorite activites.

20. They are passionate about everything they do

The emotions, thoughts, words, and touch of a person with ADD is powerful. Everything is magnified. This is a blessing when channeled properly. When a person with ADD does something, they do it with their heart and soul. They give it all they’ve got. They are intense, perceptive, and deep. This quality is what makes the person with ADD so lovable.
Basically, a person with ADD/ADHD has trouble controlling their impulses. They also have many awesome qualities that you will enjoy once you understand how they think and feel. Compassion, empathy and patience will carry you through the most difficult times. It’s important to take extra care of yourself; take alone time regularly, do what you enjoy, find a support group, a therapist or a compassionate wise friend, take frequent vacations, meditate, find hobbies and your own passion. Most of all, learn how to breathe.
Some of the greatest inventors, artists, musicians, entrepreneurs, and writers had ADD/ADHD. They succeeded because they had a loved one just like you supporting them through their daily struggles. Replace your anger with compassion. Realize how they struggle to do what comes easy to you. Think of the ADD brain, as one with electrical wiring in the wrong circuits. Next time you think that they are lazy, irresponsible, disorganized, and avoiding responsibilities; try to remember how hard they have to work extra hard to achieve a simple task.
Yes, ADD/ADHD people are hard to love, but once you understand the burden they are carrying, your heart will open up. Love and compassion will take the place of anger. You will see into their sweet and good soul.

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These 6 Incredible Things Will Happen When You Meet Your Soulmate

 Photo credit lifehack.org

We write songs, books and movies about it; the special moment when someone meets their soulmate. A soulmate is someone who you have a deep, natural affinity with. They could be your partner, or they could be a close friend who always understands you. The relationship is based on love, compatibility, trust and spirituality.
When we meet our soulmates, we start behaving differently. Our perspectives can change; we even treat other people differently. Here are 6 things that happen when you meet your soulmate.

1. You Start To See The World In A Different Way

When you meet your soulmate you will see the world in a more positive light. On a day-to-day-basis you will feel happier and more optimistic, which results in you being nicer to other people. You will become more forgiving and friendly towards the people in your life, as you want to share your positive world view with everyone around you.

2. You Smile When You Are Alone

When you meet your soulmate, you constantly experience giddy feelings of happiness – even if you’re not actually with them! You smile whenever you think about them, or whenever you receive a message or a call from them. Other people might look at you and wonder why you are smiling to yourself, but you are too happy to notice.

3. You Get Better At Problem Solving

When you meet someone who completes you, you feel more confident and strong. This strength makes you better at problem-solving, so you can focus more energy on the things in your life that need fixing.
Your soulmate is there to help you make decisions; they become your financial advisor, roommate and parent to your children, which helps to relieve the burden of daily life. You work together to find solutions to problems, and their support means you always make the best possible decision.

4. You Do Things That You Never Did Before

Your life changes in lots of different ways when you meet your soulmate. You want to know more about your soulmate’s hobbies and interests, so you are willing to try new things that you have never considered before. You might take a yoga class with your soulmate – or maybe you will spend 4 hours watching soccer, just because you want to bond with the person you love. This can open your mind up to new hobbies and activities, and you will love seeing the world through your soulmate’s eyes.

5. You Have Better Relationships With Your Beloved Ones

You truly value the relationship that you have with your soulmate; it is loving and supportive, and it encourages you to be the best you can be. After connecting with your soulmate, you start to value the other relationships in your life more. As you have bonded so well with your soulmate, you want to bond even more with your beloved ones.
When you spend time with your beloved ones, you appreciate them more than before. For instance, you always take the time to ask about their day, and you make sure that they are feeling happy and well. You know how amazing a supportive relationship can be, so you want to offer the same support to the other people you love.

6. You Go Out Of Your Way For Your Soulmate

You love your soulmate very much, and you go out of your way to show that love. You buy their favorite snacks and drinks, and you love to cook for them. You are happy to pick them up from work, and you like running errands with them. Although this might seem like an inconvenience to others, to you it is a joy, as it makes you happy to see your soulmate happy.

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10 Little Habits That Make You More Attractive (and I’m Not Talking About Looks)

 

Photo credit lifehack.org

We don’t say this out loud, but deep down inside we all want to be attractive. No, not with a fit body or the perfect face, but having qualities that people feel magnetized to. Being the kind of person everyone wants to be with and do favors for.

Unfortunately, I took the make-up route and relied solely on my looks to make people like me more.
The cost: 2 hours of Michelle Phan makeup tutorials a day. $1,000+ worth of brushes and powders a year.
The result: The same people who treated me as their best friend earlier acted as a total stranger the day I skipped my makeup.
Yup. People do judge a book by its cover.
But, what if you could make people like you with just your personality. Or better yet, with good habits?
That’s when I began hanging out with new friends at Meetups and observing every action that draws me to them. Some of these habits might not seem as obvious to the average Joe or plain Jane, but if you start to build these habits now, you can make friends in a snap or keep the love in your relationship strong.

1. Surprise people, don’t tell them.

I remember my heart jumped when I got a beautiful bouquet of flowers one random day at work, not because it was from my boyfriend or a secret admirer, but as a surprise. I soon discovered that it was my close friend who’d sent me the unexpected gift, just because he knew how depressed I felt after realizing my ex no longer cared about me. It wasn’t the gift alone that made my whole week brighter, it was his thoughts.
The takeaway here? Don’t tell people what you’re going to get or do for them because then they expect you to deliver. Give them a surprise — it’s much more memorable and impactful than doing what you’ve promised.

 

2. Say “no” when you (really) don’t want to.

People respect those who speak their minds, more so than someone who always agrees with their request or invitation. Because when you say “no” to others, people see how real you are, that you have priorities, and can be honest about your feelings.
Yes, saying the “n” word might make your stomach flip but if you can get past that feeling, you’ll start feeling good about yourself.

If you don’t treat yourself like number one, then others will treat you like number two.

3. Do something nice for a stranger.

Hold the door if their hands are full. Warn them before they sit on a wet seat. Pick up their dropped cash. These are things most people won’t do, but will give respect if you do.

4. Leave your ego behind and learn from those who are better than you.

You can complain all you want about how life sucks, and keep asking yourself, why am I not as smart, rich, likeable, successful, influential, or as good-looking as my better unequal? But at the end of the day, you’re not helping yourself grow. You’re not trying to become better.
Take the time to study what makes others shine. Practice over and over again. Ask if you need to. Because if you want to be the best, you have to be willing to learn from the best.

5. Be curious about everything.

It’s fun talking with others, but the moment the conversation dies because no one has anything else to say is when you start getting bored of that person. Don’t be that person, the one anxiously looking away while racking your brain for a good topic.
If you want to save yourself from that situation, you got to make people curious about you and the only way is if you’re curious yourself. Learn how things work. Ask yourself why people behave the way they do. Read about what’s happening in the world right now.
Because when you have a dozen more things to say, we automatically think you’re a smart and fascinating companion.

6. Stay calm when someone’s angry at you.

It’s not a pleasant sight to see someone screaming angrily or lashing out in a destructive way. And sometimes we just can’t help but lash back.
Don’t. Before you snap, take a minute to think about the whole situation and why you’re feeling so angry. Maybe there was some miscommunication between you two and maybe it’s best to stay calm and talk it out. This is probably the best solution to understanding people better and feeling more closely connected to them.

7. Start conversations with someone new.

Most of us feel scared when we’re away from our comfort groups, which makes it easier for people to see who’s confident and who’s not. For me, I’d always scout around for those who introduce themselves to others, because I know they’re the types who are completely comfortable in their own skin.
Break out of your comfort zone and talk with somebody you’ve never met. You’ll instantly surprise them (see point #1) and walk away with greater confidence.

8. Write a list on what you want to learn.

It drives me insane every time someone tells me that they’re bored and have no idea what to do. Or if they waste their time sleeping or watching TV all day.
Yes, people would tell me just “live in the moment” and have fun, but to be honest, that’s a very short-term point of view. What makes you more attractive in the long run is getting smarter and learning new things, everyday.
A suggestion I’d recommend that a friend recommended me is writing a list of all the things you don’t know or have little knowledge about. Update that list whenever you come across a topic that puzzles you and research it when you have time.

9. Saying thank you.

It’s simple, overused at times, but still can make a world’s difference to someone’s day. All it takes is a couple seconds to think about and appreciate what you are given, even if it’s something small like a hug.
Remember: Thank others when you really mean it, but not to the point where you go overboard (otherwise it starts to lose its meaning).

10. Make time for yourself.

If there’s one thing you can’t recover in life, it’s time. That’s why people who are constantly busy doing things they like or can improve on end up becoming more successful than someone who treats their time as if it were a measly dollar — you can waste it in a flash, but it’s something people use to build a life that’s worth living.
Remember, the most attractive thing about you has less to do with your face and body, but more with your heart and habits.

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7 Things You Don’t Want to Learn Too Late in Life

 Featured photo credit: unsplash.com via pexels.com

We should never regret too much in our lives. However, there comes a time when we realise there are things that, if we had known them earlier, could have benefited us a lot in our younger years. Maybe we only come to these realisations through personal growth and experience, but sometimes we can go through life not being fully aware of situations until we hit a crisis point that leads us to question whether we truly did or cherished things to the best of our ability.
How often have you thought to yourself I wish I’d known this when I was younger? There’s an overwhelming feeling that if your younger self had just been more enlightened or aware, then you could have dealt with emotions and situations more readily or just moved forward with a more knowledgeable mindset and perspective on life.
With this in mind, here are 7 important life lessons that will change your perspective and mindset to enhance your experience of life for the better.

1. Be Present In The Here And Now

We spend so much time rehashing the past or planning for the future that we forget to experience the present moment. The present moment is what is happening to you right now. Happiness can only exist in the present moment ‒ the past has gone and the future hasn’t come yet so the present moment is all we have.
Our minds have a habit of running at a hundred miles an hour and this means we are rarely just being in the here and now. Try stopping and looking around you, see what is happening right now, be mindful of where you are right in this moment, or simply be aware of your breathing. Once you do this, your mind will start to open up and appreciate what you have right now and you will even start to feel like time is no longer slipping away.

 

2. Don’t Rule Your Life By What You Think You Should Or Shouldn’t Do

Society, or our family’s expectations tend to make us think there are things we should do ― I should go to university and get that degree or I shouldn’t pursue my dreams because I won’t make the same money as I would working in this dead-end office job. We all have these niggling ‘shoulds’ and ‘shouldn’ts’ circling our minds, but when we make these statements, who exactly are we making these statements to? Who exactly are we trying to get permission from? And why is this acceptable? Living your life the way you want to is the only way to be happy. Stop limiting yourself because of other people’s expectations. It’s your life and no one else’s.

3. Don’t Make Things Bigger Than They Are

Our minds can work against us and through mindsets we develop and fears that take over. We can often make problems much bigger than they actually are. It’s all about perspective. How many times have you thought something was a huge deal but a day, week, or month down the line you don’t even think about it anymore? That’s because your mind likes to focus and blow-up worries and problems that aren’t actually problems.
Next time it happens just take a moment to ask yourself: realistically, will I still be thinking about this tomorrow, next week, next year etc.? Most of the time the answer will be “NO” so eliminate all the unnecessary worry you put yourself through.

4. Face Your Fears More

We all have fears ― some are justified and some are not ― but to grow and really get as much out of life as you can, you need to face your fears more often. Remember that many of your fears are only a product of your mind; they don’t actually exist. When you start to realise this, doing things you find intimidating and scary will actually become easier. The feeling you’ll get from facing your fears head on will be the best and most rewarding feeling you will ever have and, 100% guaranteed, it will always never feel as scary as your mind thought it was going to be.

5. Slowly But Surely Wins The Race

When we’re younger, we tend to aim high and want everything quickly. When we set ourselves goals, we can give up easily when we don’t get the results immediately. Our modern world has conditioned us to expect and obtain anything in a blink of an eye which has led us to believe this can be the same for our dreams, goals, and ambitions.
The secret to success is small steps for big changes. Our goals are there to help us achieve and grow and we can’t do this if things happen quickly with no area for learning or getting a sense of achievement from it. Remember to set yourself small attainable goals that will help towards your dreams and know you are on the right path no matter how long it will take.

6. Stop Assuming What Other People Are Thinking

We can often make huge assumptions about what others are thinking whether they are judging you for something or thinking badly about an opinion you had. The bottom line is the world doesn’t revolve around you. Everyone around you is dealing with their own problems, worries, and insecurities and the chances are, they aren’t paying as much attention to you as you may think. So stop caring and, even worse, assuming what others are thinking. You wouldn’t want anyone to assume what you’re thinking so why do it to others?

7. Appreciate Everything In Your Life

One of the most important life lessons is appreciation. The older we get, the more we appreciate the things in our life including people, experiences, lessons we’ve learnt, and even our possessions. Establishing this habit early on the better, because gratitude and appreciation is the true key to happiness. The sooner you can be enlightened to this and integrate this into your everyday life, the more you’ll be able to live in the present moment and be thankful for what makes your life a good one―no matter how small the thing is you’re appreciating.
So, whether it’s the shower you get to take every morning, the nature around you, your pet, that one person who you can talk to about anything, the food in your refrigerator―appreciate it all and realise the abundance that’s really present in your life. This will transcend into the rest of your life and establish the positive mindset needed to live a happy and healthy life; your older self will thank you for it!

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This Is How You Become Unattractive And You’re Not Aware of It

Featured photo credit: Ouch via Shots of Insight

Everyone strives to be a great person, kind, caring, and compassionate. But for some people, that’s not always the case. There are many behaviors or ‘bad habits’ that people have that make them seem unattractive, annoying, or someone that no one wants to be around with. A few of these harmful characteristics are offered for you below, and if you happen to realize that you embody any of them – quit! You might find your circle of friends grow once you do.

1. You are Self-Absorbed

Many people do this without realizing it. You focus solely on yourself, talk only about yourself, and often don’t care what others around you have to say. You think you’re the only one that matters. If this is you, it’s time to change. No one wants to be friend with someone who only cares about themselves.

2. You Focus on Outer Beauty, Ignoring What’s Inside

Surprisingly, true beauty comes from within your heart, body, and soul. Your physical appearance isn’t something that matters the most, but people with unattractive behaviors think that outer beauty is all that matters. Take a look in the mirror – deep within yourself – and you might see what lies beneath. An ugly person. Unless you change your way of thinking.

3. You are Always in Competition

Are you the person who has to be better than everyone else, see more, do more? If so, you’re an unattractive person. You should care more about your friends, and let them have their moment. If they overcame their fear of heights and climbed 10 feet in the air, don’t say, “That’s all? I’ve climbed 30 feet!” Instead say, “Wow! That’s awesome. I’m really proud of you.”

4. You View Your Friends as Enemies

People who are seen as unattractive are often in fights with their friends. Instead of banning together and truly being able to care for others, you’re always turning your back, and stabbing them in theirs. Your friends are not your enemies. They are your allies.

5. You Question Your Importance to Others

You are definitely an unattractive person when you constantly question why others don’t see you as important as you think they should. For instance, your two friends went somewhere without you – it doesn’t matter to them – but to you it does. Get over it. They’re still your friend, and their lives don’t stop when you’re not around.

6. You are the Boss

In a group of friends, everyone should be on an equal playing field. If you’re the one always making decisions, constantly needing to be in charge, or trying to control what others are doing, you’re acting in an unattractive way.

7. You are Dishonest

When it comes to being a great friend, or someone whom others want to be around, you need to be honest. Many people who partake in ugly behaviors are often dishonest, lying about everything, inquiring about every question asked about them, and how they truly feel about different things. Yes, honesty is the best policy.

8. You are Rude

If you’re the person that’s frequently impolite, offensive, or embarrassing your friends with your rude comments in public – quit. You’re not someone people would want to be around. There are going to be times when you don’t agree with someone, or see something you didn’t want to see, but there’s no point in making a scene, because you’re making everyone look at your terrible behavior and they’re not seeing what you’re seeing.

9. You are Unreliable, Yet Dependent Upon Others

Are you there when your friends call for help? Or are you always busy when someone needs you? If you’re the person no one can count on, that’s an unattractive quality in friendships. Similarly, if you’re the one always calling for help from others, yet never offering yours when they need it, that’s another unattractive quality that no one wants in a friend.

10. You are Always Negative

Pessimism is not an attractive quality. If you’re constantly putting things down, or seeing situations in a negative light, try and change your attitude. Nobody wants to be friends with someone who’s constantly seeing the negative instead of the positive.

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People Judge Your Personality Based On These 7 Small Things

 Featured photo credit: http://www.pixabay.com via pixabay.com

From the moment you meet someone for the first time, you quickly want to assess who the person is and what they represent. This is why you may be on the lookout for certain stable qualities like honesty, kindness and intelligence.
Paying attention to these things may even help you evaluate if you will want to pursue an intimate relationship with this person or not.
Such judgment of character could be helpful on major decisions such as pursuing a romantic relationship, employing an individual or accepting a job offer. Based on these things, this is how people judge your personality and determine who you are and who you might not be.

1. Your handwriting

According to a study, the way someone writes and the size of their handwriting can tell you certain things about the person. According to the research which was conducted by the National Pen Company, it is revealed that persons with small handwriting tend to be shy, meticulous and studious while people who were more outgoing tried gaining attention with larger handwriting.
Those who take things seriously put more pressure on the pen when they write, while light-handed writers typically tend to be empathetic and are more sensitive.

 

2. Your color

According to an article on Psychology Today, the color you frequently turn to for clothes or are more akin to says a lot about who you are. People who frequently choose black are sensitive, artistic and attentive to details, while those who love red live life to the fullest and proactive in their endeavors.
People who love green are loyal and affectionate, while those who love white are organized and logical, and those who have blue as their favorite color are stable, sensitive and are considerate of others.

3. Biting your nails

Certain body-focused repetitive behaviors can say a lot about your personality. How your body reacts to situations, whether by pulling your hair, biting your nails or picking at your skin could elicit impatience, frustration, boredom and dissatisfaction.
Take nail biting for example. According to a research, it is suggested that those who bite their nails tend to be perfectionists, while also tense and often nervous.

4. Your shoes

According to psychologists, you can correctly judge a person just by looking at their shoes. According to the lead researcher Omri Gillath from the University of Kansas, just by examining the cost, style, color and condition of the shoe, you can be able to guess about 90% of the owner’s personal characteristic such as his or her income, political affiliation, gender, and even age.

5. Your eyes

Your eyes are the mirror to your soul. Your eyes can tell a lot about you, what you are thinking and feeling and if you are either deceitful or loyal. According to studies, people with blue eyes are less agreeable and more likely to be alcoholics than people with darker eyes.
Another way the eye gives you away is that a lack of steady eye contact would reveal a lack of self-control and a weak will.

6. Your punctuality

How early or late you show up for an appointment or a meeting could form an impression, either negative or positive, about your personality. Being late for an important date means you are creating a negative impression about who you are, while being early for an appointment means you are considerate about other people’s time, and are both mentally organized and self-motivated.

7. Your handshake

It has been discovered that people with a strong handshake exude confidence and reflect a strong and confident character. Such people are also more likely to be extroverted, being expressive of their emotions, and less likely to be placid.
People with weak handshakes, on the other hand, lack confidence and always tend to want the easy way out of a challenge. Offering a handshake alone could be the different between appearing standoffish or sincerely friendly.

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30 Simple Things You Don’t Realize You Do That Impress Everyone Around You

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One the biggest mistakes people make when they’re trying to impress someone is that they assume people only pay attention to the important or “big” things they do. But the reality is that the little things are what matter most. It’s the little things we do or don’t do every day that shape us in to who we are. The little things determine how we respond when big things come in to our lives.
The kind of image you present to the world is determined by your actions, comments, attitude, behavior and even appearance. These things can be noticed within the first few seconds of meeting someone. So, how do you let people know who you really are? How do you impress everyone around you without big gestures or a lot of time? These 30 things might be simple, but they have a big impact. Their effects are lasting. People will remember the little things you do and that can make the difference you’re looking for.

1. Dress the part

Your appearance is the thing people see first. They look at your clothes, hair, shoes, etc. They make assumptions about you before you even open your mouth. If you want to impress people, dress for the occasion. Take time to get ready in the morning.

 

2. Be on time

If you’re late for something, you’re giving someone the opportunity to judge you without you even being there. If you say you’re going to be somewhere at a certain time, then be there at that time. Waiting for someone when they should already be there is frustrating and annoying.

3. Don’t break your promises

There are too many people out there making promises they know they can’t keep. They promise something because it makes the other person feel better in that moment. The problem with that is that down the road, when you don’t follow through, the comfort that person felt turns into discouragement, frustration and even anger. If you can’t keep a promise, don’t make it. If you do make a promise, do everything you can to keep it.

4. Respect others

This includes your elders, minors, co-workers, family members, etc. This can be hard when you have to be around someone who has differing opinions than you, or who acts in a way you don’t approve of. But you can still be civil. If you look for attributes you respect in people, you will find them.

5. Be involved

If you support going green, then go green in your life. If you support your local government, then attend community meetings. Be a part of the things that matter to you.

6. Say, “Please,” and, “Thank you,” often

These are small words, but they go a long way. Expressing your gratitude to people, even for the smallest acts of kindness, shows that you see the good in people; it shows that you pay attention to the things people around you are doing and saying.

7. Smile often

Smiles are contagious. If a stranger walks past you at the store and smiles, it is a natural response to smile back. Seeing someone smile can remind others that there are things to be grateful for, that life is fun and exciting.

8. Don’t be constantly using your phone

When you are with someone, be with them. Phones are an amazing piece of technology. But they are also a distraction. Use your phone when it’s appropriate. You don’t need it out every second of every day.

9. Be faithful to your partner

We hear story after story about divorces and infidelity. It’s everywhere. By being honest and true with your partner, you are showing that you know where your priorities are. You understand what it means to be in a healthy relationship.

10. Support your children

Take time to be involved in your kids’ lives. Know what they’re interested in. Go their games, recitals, competitions, parent-teacher conferences, etc. Listen when they talk to you. Be the kind of parent they know they can go to when they have questions.

11. Personal hygiene isn’t an option, it’s a requirement

Have breath mints handy. Wear deodorant. Brush your teeth. Wear clean clothes. These are things that should be common sense, but some people really struggle with them. Talking to someone with bad breath is gross. It’s distracting. All you can think about is that you want to give them a mint. Take care of your personal hygiene and people will be more focused on what you’re saying and doing instead of how you smell.

12. Speak clearly and make eye contact

Let the person you’re talking to know that you are engaged in the conversation and that you care about what you’re discussing. Don’t mumble or look around, keep your focus on them.

13. Don’t chew gum

This can depend on the type of situation you’re in. If you’re with family hanging out or with close friends at the movies, gum is fine. But in a professional situation, gum is distracting.

14. Use humor

This can lighten the mood and bring people down from a tense state. Just make sure you’re using this at appropriate times.

15. Greet people with a handshake or hug

Determine what type of situation you’re in. You probably don’t want to go in to an interview and hug your potential boss, but you should offer them a firm handshake. With close friends and family members a hug shows a level of intimacy. It shows that you love and care about them and gives you a way to physically express that.

16. Be true to yourself

Know what you want out of life and do everything you can to achieve it.

17. Listen to others

When someone is talking to you, listen to what they are saying. Don’t be thinking of a response while they are still talking.

18. Perform acts of kindness

Open the door for someone, collect your neighbor’s mail when they go out town, make dinner for someone who just had a baby.

19. Be organized

Have a schedule and know what you have going on. Know where things are in your house, at work, in your car, etc.

20. Compliment people

Look for the good in people around you and take the time to let them know you noticed. Compliment them on their clothes, their work, their attitude, anything you can think of.

21. Share knowledge and information with others

When you have a skill or talent, share it. Teach others and share what you know and have learned.

22. Be positive and focus on the good

This can be hard when times are tough, but it’s possible. Look for the solution instead of focusing on the problem. Stay positive.

23. Help others

Help when and where you can. In most cases, chances to serve aren’t always at the most opportune times, but sacrificing your time to help someone in need says a lot about you.

24. Keep a clean car

Take your car through the car wash every so often. Clean out the inside. Don’t let garbage pile up. You never know when you’re going to have to give someone a ride.

25. Care about people

Don’t build up a wall to “protect” your feelings. Let yourself feel, let yourself care for people.

26. Don’t take offense

Things will be said and people will do things, purposefully or accidentally, that could hurt you. You can choose to be offended or to move past it.

27. Own up to your mistakes

When you make a mistake, admit it, own up to it, do what you can to fix it and move on.

28. Take advantage of experiences life has to offer

If you get the opportunity to go somewhere new, learn a new talent or try something new, do it! Enjoy life.

29. Know what’s going on in the world

Be up to date on recent news, both local and global. Be informed.

30.  Travel

The world is a big place. Take the time to go out and meet new people, learn new cultures and make new memories.

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8 Highly Attractive Things In Women (That Have Nothing to Do With Appearance)

photo credit: Pinterest

 I’ve been helping men improve their love lives for years now. I’ve probably read dozens of articles on what women find attractive in men. I’ve even written a few of them. The funny thing is, I rarely come across articles that touch on what men find attractive in a woman. Is the modern dating game so lopsided that it’s enough for a woman to just ‘show up’, or do we men stumble merely at the sight of a nice head of hair and a shapely body?
I won’t deny the fact that this is true for a lot of men out there, but there’s a little more needed to really attract a man who isn’t impressed with mere ‘good looks’?
Now, I can’t speak for the entire population here, but here are eight things that I, personally, find incredibly attractive in a woman.

1. Kindness

This might sound like a bit of a cliché, but true kindness really is rare these days. Sure, you get people who are nice to those who hold some sort of value to them, but how many people do you meet every day that would go and talk to the lone stranger crying in the subway? I don’t want to be with a person that’s just nice to me, my friends, and my family. I want a person who can brighten up my day by brightening up the lives of everyone she comes in contact with.
You have a power to lighten someone’s day just by smiling to them. It’s worth using it often, also to become more attractive in men’s eyes. Studies from the University of British Columbia show that men are attracted to smiling women. A natural smile conveys messages like optimism and stability, which are definitely qualities desired in a mate.

 

2. Positivity and sense of humor

“It’s not selfish to love yourself, take care of yourself, and to make your happiness a priority.”

One of the most important things in any relationship, romantic or otherwise, is the ability to have a great time and have a good laugh. Taking care of your emotional hygiene and good mood should be your priority. Only then you can take life positive, light, and with a fair dose of humor. While I never hold any significant other to a comic standard of say, Ellen Degeneres, I do love a woman who can live life one day at a time, take a joke, and crack a few of her own.

3. Passion

This might sound like a tall ask to some, but I’m a person who needs to be inspired constantly to be happy. To me, there’s no feeling in this world as attractive as being inspired by a woman who’s passionate about her pursuits in life.
You could be a world class pianist or you could be doctor, the minute I see your eyes light up while talking about what you want to achieve in life, I guarantee you I’ll be falling hard and fast. You cannot get bored together, because there is always a topic to talk about with a girl who is passionate about something.

4. Getting along with my friends

A friend once told me an old Chinese saying of a man that has a wife who gets along with his friends will have a long and pleasant life. Well, I have a feeling that my friend might be lying about there being an actual saying; however, I have to say that it really is a beautiful thing to be with a woman who can get along with your buddies and just be ‘one of the guys’ when she wants to.

5. Confidence

“Nothing is more beautiful than a confident woman who doesn’t pretend to be someone she’s not.”

I don’t know about you, but I like being around people who are happy to be themselves. You see, it’s not just women who respond powerfully to a confident partner, I love being with a woman who stands up for herself and what she believes in; as long as it’s not an opinion against my sports team or favorite band. Ha! Just kidding. I would never date a girl who didn’t love Iron Maiden.

6. Being comfortable with her sexuality

There’s a lot to be said on what’s sexy and, more specifically, on what makes a woman sexy. To me, what matters is not what a girl wears beneath the sheets or what she’s into, it’s the fact that she’s comfortable with her own sexuality and aware of her sexual energy. Romance is just so much more fun with a woman who knows what she’s into and isn’t abashed about it.
Your sexuality is a big part of your human nature. The sooner you embrace this side, the better and more attractive partner you become.

7. Decisiveness

“A girl should be two things: who & what she wants.”

One of my biggest pet peeves is people who don’t know what they want and can’t take responsibility for their own decisions. At the end of the day, I’m willing to battle through a few arguments on where we should have dinner or which movie we should watch, as long as I know that I’m with a person who’s strong enough to be decisive.

8. She has her own sense of style

Here’s the thing: we men are very much visual creatures. It’s just how we’re evolutionary programmed. Something that I absolutely love in a woman is a unique sense of style. I’ll admit that I tend to gravitate towards certain stereotypes – bohemian Goth with a fair share of body ink (in case you’re wondering). I fall in love whenever I see a woman who has a sense of style that I don’t get to see on every street corner.

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8 Things That Can Hugely Undermine Your Attractiveness, According To Science

 

 Photo credit .lifehack.org

We all do things that we think are going to increase our attractiveness and make us feel good. We go to the gym to make positive changes to our body, we dress in a way that we want to be perceived. But, have you ever wondered, “is there anything I’m doing that is making me unattractive?” According to our friends in the lovely world of science, the answer is most certainly yes.
In this article, we’ll be going over a few things that actually decrease your attractiveness, how to stop before you completely sabotage your sex appeal and how to be attractive.

1. Not Enough Sleep

Who would’ve thought, right? Not enough sleep actually decreases our attractiveness. Back in 2010 researchers took photos of people who had not slept for 31 hours and those who had gotten at least 8 hours of sleep the night prior to the photos. The participants in the study then rated those in the photos on different criteria. In their conclusion, they discovered that those who had been sleep deprived actually looked less attractive, more sad, and less healthy.
Although it may be hard to do because of well, life, try to make sure you’re getting your full eight hours of sleep every night to ensure you wake up refreshed every day.

2. Not Being Nice

We’ve all heard the saying, “nice guys finish last”. But is that actually true? According to science, maybe not. A 2014 Chinese study took photos of people with a neutral expression on their faces. Below the photos they would put a certain word such as decent, honest, mean or evil. In addition, other photos were not given any information at all. The study found that those with the words mean and evil under the photos were found to be less attractive by the participants rating the photos.
To avoid this, it really is quite simple, just be nice. No one likes being around a person who is constantly miserable and mean to everyone. But we all are allowed to have our days where we just aren’t happy. Try doing things to boost your mood by being active or doing other activities that you find enjoyable.

3. Being overstressed

Chill out ladies, you may appear much more attractive. A 2013 study had shown that high levels of a stress hormone called Cortisol in women were found to be less attractive by men. Although there is no concrete proof to back it up, the researchers believe that high levels of Cortisol are indications of health and fertility.
I know, as a woman especially, we just can’t help but stress about…everything. I think we are truly wired to think, overthink and stress about every possible little thing. Have a glass of red wine, go to the gym, practice yoga, meditate. Do it for the sake of your sex appeal, and your own well-being.

4. Where’s Your Sense Of Humor?

We hear it all the time when talking to our buddies about what we like and dislike when it comes to talking about what we are and are not attracted to. Everyone wants someone funny. I mean, if someone can’t make you laugh, what’s the point anyway? It should come as no surprise then that back in 2009 a study found that having no sense of humor, or even an average one was found to be less attractive in comparison to those with a great sense of humor. Gender absolutely doesn’t play a role here so practice up on your jokes boys and girls.
You have to remember, trying too hard is a real thing though. Remember to just be yourself, you may actually be surprised as to how funny you are when you can just relax and be true to you.

5. Being Lazy

Nothing about being lazy is something either sex finds attractive. Whether it be aspirations, physical activity, what have you, it’s important to get up and get moving. Laziness and motivation go hand in hand. What you do, and what you don’t do says a lot about the type of person you are. If you choose to be lazy with yourself and your goals, one may believe that you will be lazy when it comes to a relationship. Life is beautiful and exciting, but you can’t experience it from a couch.
At times, we can find ourselves in a slump where we just don’t want to do anything at all. We do just what we have to do to get by and that’s about it. It’s important though, to not remain in that stagnant state. Make a list of the things you want to get done each day a post it up somewhere where you’ll see it and cross off each thing as you complete it. There’s nothing more satisfying than completing tasks and other things that need to get done. Plan your day backwards. Act as though your day ends at 5:30 and you plan your day to get done what needs to be done in that time frame.

6. Dishonesty

This is a given. If you can’t tell the truth you’re definitely not on the right road when learning how to be attractive. A dishonest person is always viewed as a person who is unreliable. When a person is dishonest, they almost always have other negative qualities that can and surely will turn a person off.
Just be honest. It’s been said that honesty is the best policy and there are fewer things truer than that.

7. Body Language

Body language can exhibit quite a few unattractive traits such as weakness, nervousness, insecurity, discomfort and more. The way you sit and stand may come off more unattractive than you realize. By standing with your arms folded you can give off an impression that you are closed off and uncomfortable. This alone can make you seem unapproachable.
Research was conducted in 2016 where it was discovered that contractive body language can make you appear less attractive. Researchers used a dating app to evaluate different contractive positions. In one set of profiles, participants had their arms crossed or hunched their shoulders. In the other set of profiles, the same group of men and women had pictures taken in expansive positions, such as holding their arms in a upward position or reaching out to grab an object. The results concluded the those pictured in expansive positions were found to be more attractive.
It’s important to pay attention to your body language. Make sure to stretch every day, avoid sitting down for too long, and strengthen your core muscles. All of these will help to improve your posture.

8. Being Too Proud or Happy

Being happy is a good quality to have, but according to science being too happy may actually decrease your attractiveness. Back in 2011 researchers conducted experiments on well over 1,000 men and women. They had shown them photographs of people of the opposite sex and went on to ask them how attractive the people in the pictures were.
Generally speaking, women who are happy tend to appear to be more attractive, whereas women do not prefer men who are “too happy”. In addition, pride is usually more attractive on men, however men do not prefer women who look too proud.

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