You Don’t Marry a Man; You Marry a Lifestyle

Photo credit lifehack.org

Marriage is often portrayed as the joining of two people who love and care for one another. You probably grew up being told by family and well-meaning older friends to find someone who makes you happy and who shares your interests. This is sound advice, but how many of us really acknowledge that how you live the rest of your life may hinge on the sort of person you marry? It’s important to think not only about how someone makes you feel, but the kind of life the two of you will share.

What exactly do you need to consider before agreeing to walk down the aisle? Perhaps the two key considerations are where the two of you will live and whether you will have children. If you want to live in an urban area for most of your working life but your fiancé yearns to live in the countryside, you may have to accept that you want to lead opposing lifestyles. This will require that one or both parties compromise if the relationship is to survive. You should also think carefully about how many children you wish to have, because this will affect the kind of place in which you will live, the amount of disposable income you will have, and the degree of personal freedom you will enjoy. For the sake of any children you may have, you both need to commit fully to the idea of being a parent if you wish to start a family.

Financial matters are another area in which it is vital to clarify before getting married. Check that your attitudes towards spending, saving, and debt management are compatible. If one of you has a “live for the moment” attitude but the other is an ardent saver, this could cause friction in your relationship. You also need to decide on whether you wish to own or rent your home, as this will affect your financial future. For example, if one person wants to buy a house and get a mortgage as soon as possible but the other wants the flexibility of renting, some kind of agreement or compromise is warranted. You should also think about everyday money management. For instance, will you have a joint account or combine finances?

Day-to-day practicalities also need to be addressed. For example, who is going to be responsible for the cooking, cleaning, and general upkeep of the home? If the two of you want to have children, who will be their primary caregiver? You should also think about how you will handle your leisure time, and how often you expect to spend an evening or weekend with your spouse. Make sure that your leisure preferences are such that you can look forward to building a mutually enjoyable lifestyle. If you like to spend your weekends on short trips but your fiancé much prefers to pass the time at home, consider whether you are content to go by yourself. Some couples are happy to spend a significant amount of time apart pursuing their own hobbies and interests, but if you are the kind of person who likes to share as many experiences as possible with your significant other, the marriage and lifestyle on offer may not be right for you.

Remember that marriage is not simply a case of picking someone who seems like a good fit and then hoping love will smooth over any cracks. Take a long, hard look at the ways in which marriage to this particular individual are likely to impact you in the future. Taking time to get a realistic picture of what you and your would-be spouse want for the future will allow you to determine whether the two of you are truly right for one another.

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How to Have More Entertaining Conversations

Photo credit lifehack.org

What if I told you that some of the best conversation exchanges are about things that never occurred and never will?

Say hello to the hypothetical statement – or hypotheticals as I affectionately refer to them. Probably the most entertaining type of statement in the conversation universe. A single hypothetical can launch a conversation into a world of fictional fun.

I was sitting in a coffee shop writing and someone came over and asked if the comfy chair next to me was available. I didn’t feel like talking because I was engrossed in my writing, but after I told him it was free, he sat down, got comfortable, and said, “If I start snoring loudly, just kick me.”

We both laughed. I responded, “I’ve got some ice left in my cup I could pour on you if that would work better.” He laughed again, and I went about my work. Either of us could have continued a conversation very naturally from there if we wanted, all about an imaginary event — falling asleep and snoring in a chair! There was nothing glamorous about the event either – but simply discussing the hypothetical possibility, within the context of a coffee shop – was very funny.

Hypothetical statements don’t require the imagination of an artist or the wit of a playwright. Many are quite simple and quick. Check out the following example:

“I’m going for a run, although I’ll probably faint in this heat.”

You could have just told your wife, “I’m going for a run,” but that wouldn’t be entertaining, would it? Adding some hypothetical scenario takes it to a whole new level. You could have added any number of hypotheticals about possibly being bitten by the neighbor’s vicious dog, chased by cops, etc.

Look at the World Without Hypothetical Statements

To quickly illustrate the power and range of hypotheticals, let’s look at some real examples WITHOUT and WITH a hypothetical component.

Obviously, you weren’t privy to the actual conversation, but my hope is you can imagine how B-O-R-I-N-G some of these statements are without hypotheticals and how they completely transform the instant the hypothetical is added:

Without Hypothetical: Yeah, I was going to call you this morning to see if you were coming in.

With Hypothetical:Yeah, I was going to call you this morning to see if you were coming in. I wanted to make sure you weren’t stuck in a ditch or something.

Without Hypothetical:

JACK: I’m so glad they finally built the café down here.

JILL: Yeah, before this I was eating fast food every day.

With Hypothetical:

JACK: I’m so glad they finally built the café down here.

JILL: Yeah, before this I was eating fast food every day. I must have gained like twenty pounds!

Without Hypothetical: I have to go give that presentation now.

With Hypothetical:I have to go give that presentation now. Anyone want to come see me embarrass myself?

The Hypothetical and the Exception

Hypotheticals often come in the form of an exception. Check out this example:

Your friend mentions the topic of making beer.

YOU: I’ve always wanted to have a home brewery in my basement. That would so cool! Except I’d probably end up throwing most of it out!

FRIEND: Maybe you should have a bakery instead. I think you would like making sweets even more than beer. Except you would probably end up eating everything before you had a chance to sell it!

What Might be a Possible Explanation?

The hypothetical can take the form of a playful explanation for why some event or behavior occurred.

For example, you are leaving a neighborhood party when someone comments about your five-year-old.

FRIEND: Your son has been so good this whole time.

YOU: Thanks. It worked out well.

The conversation could end there. Or you could add a playful reason as to why your son behaved so well.

YOU: Thanks! We got lucky. Someone probably snuck him a few beers from the fridge.

Check out another example:

Your friends are talking about hair loss.

YOU: Yeah, it sucks, I’m sure I’ll be bald in about two years.

FRIEND: Really, you look like you still have all your hair.

YOU: Yeah, well, not really.

Or you could also provide a hypothetical reason.

YOU: That’s because I’m wearing a toupee – a really good one. I glued it down.

The Almost Realm

Many great hypothetical statements exist in the realm of the “Almost” did/said/happened. This is often more interesting than the literal truth. It’s a very important technique in telling stories as well.

For a simple, but effective example, imagine someone asking: “How’d the event go?”

You reply “It was fun…the tent almost collapsed…but overall, it was a good time.” Or “It was fun…nothing burned down, so that was good.”

This gives the other person something else to connect to. “Well, I’m glad nothing burned down! That wouldn’t be good.”

Hypotheticals require a little imagination and a playfulness, which isn’t easy to replicate when you’re by yourself.  Regardless, it’s a habit that doesn’t come easily unless you make some effort. See if you can finish the following statements with a hypothetical statement:

1. My team is playing tonight, if they ______, I’ll ________.
2. I can’t stand mushrooms…if _________.
3. Your beard is getting really long, you could ________.

A lot of times, just forcing yourself to add a “if…  it could…. it should… it would have… it might… I’ll probably… ” can help trigger some imaginative, entertaining statements!

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15 Things You Don’t Owe Anyone At All (Though You Think You Do)

15 Things You Don’t Owe Anyone At All (Though You Think You Do)

Many choices we make in life—ranging from what we do, to how we conduct ourselves, and who we interact with—are subject to prying questions and commentary from those around us. Family members, friends, and even total strangers, it often seems like everyone has an opinion on the things we do, no matter how small or insignificant those things might seem to us.

Sometimes people go so far as to ask you to explain yourself for the decisions or choices you make in your own life. You might feel obliged to respond, but some things are really no one else’s business and you don’t owe anyone an explanation at all for the following 15 things—though you think you do.

1. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for your living situation.

Whether you are cohabiting with your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend, crashing in different motel rooms across the country, or living with your parents for a while when you are past your twenties, you don’t have to explain yourself to anyone for who you live with and why if you don’t want to. If you are fully aware of your living situation, then it means you have your own reasons for being in that situation that are nobody else’s business.

2. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for your life priorities.

You have your own ideas about the things that would make you and your loved ones truly comfortable and happy, which is your main priority. Since we are all unique individuals with different values, dreams and aspirations, your core priorities will be different from the next person’s. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for what you determine is your core priority in life. That is your personal business not other people’s business.

3. You don’t owe anyone an apology if you are not sorry.

If you don’t regret your actions, still think someone is wrong about something or don’t care much for their forgiveness, you don’t have to apologize. Many people are too quick to offer apologies and try to mend wounds that are not yet ready to be mended, which only serves to aggravate the wound and bring more problems. You really don’t have to apologize if you are not sorry or your side of the story hasn’t been heard.

4. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for requiring alone time.

You might worry that you will come across as “rude,” “anti-social” or “aloof” when you cancel plans or other obligations because you need some time alone to reboot, unwind or just enjoy a good book by yourself. However, spending time alone is a completely normal, natural and necessary practice that more people should adopt. Take your alone time confidently because you don’t owe anybody an explanation for it.

5. You don’t owe anyone your agreement on their personal beliefs.

Just because someone shares their personal beliefs passionately doesn’t mean you have to sit there and nod in approval to everything they say. If you don’t share in their beliefs, it is unfair to yourself and to the other person to suppress your own thoughts and feelings and pretend you agree with them. It’s okay and better to disagree with them gracefully instead of bottling up your disapproval and frustrations.

6. You don’t owe anyone a yes to everything they say.

You have a right to say no whenever there is no compelling reason to say yes. In fact, the most successful people in the world are those who have mastered the art of saying no to everything that is not a priority. Acknowledge other people’s kindness and be grateful for it, but don’t be afraid to politely decline anything that takes your focus away from your core goals and priorities. That’s how to get ahead.

7. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for your physical appearance.

You might be slender, plump, tall, short, pretty, plain or whatever, but you don’t have to explain yourself to anyone for why you look how you do. Your physical appearance is your own business and you are obligated only to yourself. Physical appearance shouldn’t determine your self-worth.

8. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for your food preferences.

There are certain foods that you just don’t like at all for different reasons, including taste preference and health issues. You don’t have to explain to anyone at all why you prefer certain foods. Your food preference is a matter that is best left to you. If anyone pesters you about why you are eating (or not eating) certain foods, shrug it off and just say you feel better eating (or not eating) those foods.

9. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for your sex life.

As long as it happens with another consenting adult, you don’t owe anyone an explanation for where, when and how you conduct your sex life. You can wait for marriage, try one-night stands or experiment with same sex encounters to your heart’s pleasure and still not have to explain your sexual preferences to anybody.

10. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for your career or personal life choices.

Sometimes circumstances force us to choose between work and “having a life.” The decision is not always easy and you might end up choosing work, not because you don’t care about your family or social life, but because you are working on something that will give you security in the future. Either way, you don’t owe others an explanation for choosing a career over your personal life (or vice versa) as long as you are confident about what you are doing and why you are doing it.

11. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for your religious or political views.

Whether you are a Democrat, Republican, Catholic, Protestant or Muslim, that is your own personal choice. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for why you are what you are and believe what you believe. If someone can’t accept you for who you are, that is their personal dogma—not yours.

12. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for being single.

Whether you are single by design or by default that is nobody’s business. Being single is not a personality disorder. You are free to be in a relationship or not. Besides, you are far more than your relationship status and singlehood is just one of those social labels no one should really care about.

13. You don’t owe anyone a date just because they asked.

Someone might be nice, good looking and you may even be a little interested, but you don’t owe them a date just because they ask. If you feel deep down you don’t want to go on that date, then don’t. You may offer a reason for declining, but keep it brief and stick to your decision.

14. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for your decision about marriage.

Whether or not you choose to get married and have kids or stay unmarried and be childfree, that is your own personal decision. Even your mom who is dying for grandchildren should understand that marriage is a personal decision and not suited for everyone. She should respect your decision about it no matter how hard it is to swallow.

15. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for your relationship choices.

Sometimes people make inappropriate commentary about your romantic relationship(s), which is really none of their business. You might overhear comments like you are not the “perfect couple” or you should find someone else. However, you are not answerable to anyone but yourself for your relationship choices. Live your life and never, ever leave or stay in a relationship just because someone else says you have to. Make your own mistakes if you must, but learn from them always.

Featured photo credit: Bassi Baba via flickr.com

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Science Says You Need To Be Wary Of Overly Polite People, Here’s Why

Photo credit lifehack.org

Just met someone at a party and they’re a little too nice to you already? Out at a concert or sporting event and someone is being overly polite? You can really get thrown off by someone who is kissing up to you out of the blue. Do they like you that much? Are they trying to tell you something you’re unaware of? Are they trying to get something from you? All of these questions and more can race through your head when you meet someone who is overly polite.

Research that was released in December 2015 shows you might be best taking these people’s behavior with a grain of salt at first. Social politeness and common courtesies are one thing, but if an individual is buttering you up out of nowhere, this could be an unwelcome sign.

The Annual Meeting of the Association for Computational Linguistics in Beijing (AMACL) just released their findings that those who are“excessively polite” are considerably more likely to betray peers or comrades than those who are not effusively polite. The researchers at AMACL engaged in an in-depth study of Diplomacy, a strategy-oriented game in which players simulate pre-WWI Europe.

Diving Into Diplomacy

Instead of having dice, decks of cards or other familiar formalities of gaming, the players rely solely on their communication and social manipulation skills. The game is aptly titled, therefore, as forming alliances diplomatically becomes the true essence of the game. The researchers then attempted to obtain clues of oncoming action based on the dialogues between players.

As it turned out, there emerged rock-solid examples of betrayal that AMACL observed in their report. Perhaps most shockingly, the scientists discovered one of the most predictable signs of imminent backstabbing is sudden changes in conversational tone. Conversations would morph from average or uneventful to contain “patently evident positive sentiment, structured discourse and overt politeness”.

Overly Polite, Sinister Forces

In one particularly elucidating conversation, Germany and Austria were talking about how to combine forces to eliminate certain threats. Austria readily agreed to Germany’s suggestion to move armed forces east, but then Austria swiftly invaded Germany, throwing their entire conversation out the window and negating trust.

In conjunction with this report, Science News commented that clearly, playing nice and being overly polite is a great war strategy. For those who are not in-the-know and generally unsuspecting, it becomes effective to put on a bright face for everyone and then strike where you desire when people least expect it.

As it turns out, even a computer used this information to accurately predict betrayal 57 percent of the time. This is a surprisingly high rate, especially considering that the only cues to be used are linguistic in nature.

Applying This To The Real World

As telling and intriguing as this study is, there hasn’t been enough reliable data collected to see these concepts work in the real world. Being overly polite in a game of Diplomacy might only carry benefit as far as recreational, play-oriented boundaries extend. In order to manifest truly viable data to be used in real-life situations, there would have to be a deeper, closer look at regular humans going about their day.

According to Danescu-Niculescu-Mizil, a computer scientist at Cornell University, while this study yields valuable information, it should not be used as a sole basis for making decisions about other people. His standpoint is that watching the overall balance of language and behavior in a relationship between two people is a stronger sign of future behavior. Judging if someone’s being overly polite does have its place in making rational judgments for yourself, but it should be taken within the context of the larger relationship.

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8 Unrealistic Expectations Men Have Of Women

Guys. We love you, but some of the expectations you have of us, girls, range from bluntly absurd to rather mean. Just like you, we’re face the same limitations that are posed on us by being human.

If you stop expecting the next 8 things, our whole relationships may go onto the next quality level!

1. We cannot look hot without taking no time to get ready.

Do you realize that even those “effortless, I just got out of bed look” requires hours of careful preparation – blow dry, face tone, mascara, bronzer, etc. Don’t pace nervously around the room, sighing for the tenth time, looking at your watch and moaning: “Are you ready, yet?”. Most of us were not born so naturally good-looking as you are. So sit down and wait if you’d like us to look gorgeous as hell.

2. We can’t be skinny and curvy at the same time.

Yes, most of you want a girl with “that” perfect body type – slim, but not skinny; soft, but not fat. With curves in the right places and zero anywhere else. Sorry guys, but your ideal body expectations are surreal for 99% of female population. And that divine 1% might never want to date with you, unless you are Ryan Gosling, Cristiano Ronaldo, or someone equally hot. Appreciate the body we have and we will love you that much more.

3. We won’t stop dating other people unless we are official

Just too many guys these days falsely assume that while they are still playing the field, hooking up, and going on dates with other girls, we would show the outmoded notion of chivalry and sit at home, patiently waiting for your call. That will likely not gonna happen until we become official. Until you are clear about your expectations, we will continue keeping our options open!

4. We won’t stop being friends with our male buddies

Yes, we are together now and we may be in love, but that absolutely doesn’t mean we should banish our male friends. They have been around for decades before you, supporting and helping us expecting nothing in return! If you expect that now you will be the only man in our life, you are very wrong. Having male friends for a girl is all right and you should deal with it. Men are 50% of the population and some of them are friends with women.

5. We can’t read your mind

As a man, you are likely not used to spilling out all your feelings and troubles. We get that. You are not used to complaining. You don’t want to appear weak and so on. But if something really bothers you – we want to know! We can see you are being passive-aggressive so something must be wrong. Yet, in most cases we cannot read your mind and magically guess the reason. Instead of playing an evening game of charade with questions like: “Did something happen at work yesterday?”, “Did you fight with Joe?”, “Is your Mom feeling well”? and so on, just tell us what’s wrong! We’d really appreciate that.

6. We can’t call you less and more at the same time

Yes, you don’t like us to be that annoying gal who rings you up ten times a day and texts in between the calls. Sure, no man likes overwhelming attention. That makes you feel creepy. Yet, at the same time, if we do not call you often enough, you just assume we are not that into you. Work with us to find the fine line that is not too much, not too little, but just right.

7. Werarely make an exception in our rules for you

Most of us have these small rules when it comes to dating: “no kissing on the first date”, “the 5 date rule”, and so on. Those rules exist in a woman’s mind for a reason. We don’t want to feel cheap or used. We don’t want to get hurt or become too close before we get to know each other well enough. If you are, indeed, “worth it”, we’ll break the rules without any extra encouragement from your side.

8. We can’t be casual and emotional all at once

Guys, we sometimes don’t mind having just a casual physical connection and not being in a relationship. Yet, if  you “don’t really look for a relationship right now,” then we don’t really look to deal with your emotional issues, go to brunch together or give an advice of what to say at a job interview. If this is “just sex,” just have sex with us, but don’t bring in your emotional baggage and false expectations in tow.

Featured photo credit: Daniel Hoherd via flickr.com

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5 Brutal Truths Women In Their 40s Want Women In Their 30s To Know

15 Brutal Truths Women In Their 40s Want Women In Their 30s To Know

 

I can imagine so many of you nodding your heads as you read this. Anxiety about growing older is understandable. Age is only a number and it happens whether you are prepared for it or not. Knowing these brutal truths earlier prepares you to age more gracefully.

 1. Sleeping with make-up on ages your skin

The make-up layer not only dries out the top layer of the skin, it also prevents the shedding of dead skin. This slows down the normal renewal cycle, resulting in dull and uneven textured skin. The environmental pollutants fastened to the make-up create oxidative stress.  The resulting free radicals can cause your skin to age faster.

2. Frequent use of stilettos does lead to health problems

When you hit your 40’s, the extended use of high heels and the cramming of your toes into abnormal positions can result in  a variety of ailments, starting with ingrown toenails to irreparable damage to leg tendons. Reserve your stilettos for special occasions only. Stretch and massage your foot afterwards to prevent nerve damage.

 3. Sleep deprivation adds more wrinkles

If just missing a few nights of sleep leads to sallow skin and puffy eyes, can you imagine the accumulated damage by the time you enter your 40’s? The body releases a stress hormone called cortisol when you don’t sleep enough. High cortisol levels break down collagen, the protein responsible for keeping your skin wrinkle-free.

 4. Always wears sunscreen. Yes, even in winter

When you hit the 40’s and start scrutinizing your wrinkles, you’ll definitely regret not having worn your sunscreen more frequently when younger. Even if you don’t fear skin cancer, year-round application of sunscreen drastically slows the aging of skin due to the ultraviolet rays.

 5. It is indeed harder to lose weight

Just looking at food seems to add pounds as the decades pass. It is easier for women in their 30’s to lose weight. Though it is not impossible, it does get harder as you hit the 40’s since the metabolism does really slow down. If you are overweight, now is the right time to shed those extra pounds. You will definitely reap so many benefits in terms of health, looks and self confidence for the years to come.

 6. You have to strength train to prevent muscle loss

You can blame this one on the hormones. As estrogen level start declining in the 40’s, other hormonal changes including that of the thyroid, lead to not just increased appetite, but also to loss in overall muscle mass. This increases the chances of gaining weight. Women in their 30’s should start ‘strength training’ to build up muscle, which will help to increase their metabolism and help burn more calories during the day.

 7. You are one beautiful chick

Appreciate how beautiful you are. As you age and you look back at your youthful self, you will realize that you were actually quite good-looking.  Stop agonizing over your pimple, color, height or weight. Enjoy your present. It is indeed a beautiful gift.

 8. Spend quality time with your parents

Though your parents may be quite independent today, they will one day need to be cared for. Have a diplomatic discussion with your parents concerning future living arrangements, health care, funeral wishes and inheritance.

 9. Speak less and listen more

Really listen and give the other person time to finish their speech. Think it over before answering as people are more apt to listen and value your well thought out reply.

 10. Grow a thicker skin

You should challenge your feelings. If you feel upset with someone’s behavior, it’s high time you stopped letting it stress you out.  Feel pity for them as this actually reflects their inner state, not yours. The world is not going to cater to your sensitivities, so grow a thicker skin and stop take things personally. Don’t let anyone dictate what kind of day you are going to have

 11. Don’t be a people-pleaser

More than being a waste of time, it’s actually damaging. You can’t change or rescue anyone. Accept that it is not your responsibility anyway. Love yourself first. Whether it about getting married or birthing a child, wait until it feels right for you. Don’t feel guilty about not being able to please someone. If you can’t or don’t want to do it, just say NO.

 12. This is the most advantageous time to have a baby

If becoming a mother is important to you and you have the right man in your life, it is most advisable that you don’t put off having children. Your 30s is the most optimal time for this from a financial and practical view point. As time progresses it may become much more difficult to get pregnant and there are chances of medical complications in such cases.

 13. Save your money, it’ll save you later

Don’t run up your credit cards bills just because you can. You’ll be thankful later when real needs come up. Pensions are extremely important. Buying life insurance young is much cheaper. Focus on becoming financially independent. You should have something of your own.  When you have the means to take care of yourself, you will have more confidence in facing whatever life throws at you.

 14. Focus on yourself and not on a man

Invest in yourself. Make yourself the best you can be. Finish your education or learn a new language. Travel, read, expand your horizons. Focus and maintain your own health – both physically and mentally.

15. Focus on being self sufficient

You must trust in your abilities. You must keep on believing that you have what it takes to make it through. With every obstacle you face in life, you learn so much more about yourself and you will come out much stronger. Be brave.

Featured photo credit: www.flickr.com via flickr.com

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A List Of Things You Better Stop Doing When You Turn 30s

It is so sad and unfortunate that not everyone wants to grow up. Many view growing up as intimidating, as a loss of something. You have to be aware that life is made up of stages. We cannot have the same mindset we had when we were entering high school now that we are stepping into the wonderful age of 30. By the time you turn 30, you should have been able to figure out certain things and reached a level of maturity. You should have been able to discard certain habits and reactions to things that happen to you.

As you reach the age of 30, you should start becoming more aware of who you are and what stage you are in life. Here are 30 things every person turning 30 should stop doing.

1. Calling your relatives to bail you out of a financial crisis you should be taking care of instead.
2. Living a life of regrets. Looking back at the past and wondering what would have happened, or thinking about that job you never got, or that person you never got married.
3. Blaming others for how your life is turning out – pointing fingers at your parents, family and your environment for how your life has come to be.
4. Believing and expecting that your life should have turned perfect by now, rather than knowing that success is a process made out of failures.
5. Consuming yourself in worry about what others are thinking of you.
6. Spending most of your money on partying, alcohol and eating out.
7. Waiting for others to fix things you can do yourself.
8. Showing off how drunk you were at a particular party on social media.
9. Seeking other people’s approval.
10. Having to keep certain friends who are a bad influence on you out of convenience because you are too scared or nervous to cut them out of your life.
11. Giving up on a venture or a task because it has suddenly appeared difficult to undertake.
12. Holding on to grudges and consuming yourself in resentment over a past misdeed of a good friend.
13. Ignoring your relationships, whether with your family or with friends who have been there for you in the past.
14. Spending more than you earn and running into debt every now and then.
15. Stalking your ex on social media instead of moving on with your life.
16. Advertising your new designer wrist watch or other luxurious items on social media in a bid to create unnecessary attention.
17. Making excuses for not maintaining a healthy lifestyle.
18. Waiting for things to happen rather than going out to make these things happen.
19. Trying to be perfect all the time and taking yourself too seriously.
20. Thinking that you can live up to others’ expectation of you.
21. Envying the lifestyle of other people you happen to catch on social media.
22. Buying inferior items because you are trying so hard to save a buck.
23. Becoming irrational and running wild with thoughts and beliefs without being fully informed.
24. Dressing up like a teenager and going along with fads, rather than dressing as an authentic image of who you are.
25. Denying the fact that you will soon be hitting 30, and wanting to be stuck with your 20s for life.
26. Trying to pull off some alcohol stunts every now and then.
27. Posing with a peace hand sign or any kind of sign in a photo.
28. Having posters of Terminator, Fresh Prince of Bel Air or The Godfather to decorate your apartment.
29. Engaging in online arguments, and responding to every confrontational attacks made at you.
30. Ignoring the fact that you have so much going for you in your life that you should be thankful for.

Featured photo credit: http://www.pixabay.com via pixabay.com

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6 Things You Can Do To Turn Your Life Around

6 Things You Can Do To Turn Your Life Around

Every now and then, we are hit with an unexpected roadblock on our path to success or a better life. Sometimes, we can overcome them, but other times, they hit us hard. Naturally, we have strong reactions to these failures, and the most common one is giving up. However, you shouldn’t give up so easily.

There is still a chance to lift yourself up from the ground and possibly turn your life around. The timeframe could be a few months, a year, or more – it really doesn’t matter. What matters is that you are once again satisfied and on the right track.

You might wonder how this turnaround is possible. The truth is that all you need is determination and a small push. You can start small, by changing your diet or turning off the TV. A tiny change now can become something bigger later in life. With that said, here are some ways you can start turning your life around.

1. Put an end to all toxic relationships

When I say relationship, I mean any kind of interpersonal relationship — with your parents, siblings, partners, or friends. Any toxic relationship is harmful for both you and the other party. Having to constantly fight with someone, or be surrounded by negativity, is pure damage to your system. No matter what the other person thinks or feels, you shouldn’t allow them to ruin your mood.

Moreover, you shouldn’t let their negativity have any effect on you. The worst thing that could happen is for the relationship to turn mentally abusive. For example, if your friend doesn’t support or encourage you, then what is the point of being friends? If they are not on your side, they are not your friend.

Just ask yourself what you want and need, and whether you are getting that from the relationship in question. If there is no space for your personal growth, then the best solution would be to end it. For once, put yourself first.

2. Become physically active

There are many advantages to working out. For starters, it will make you physically fit. You will feel energized, strong, and powerful. With each workout, your body will be pumped. You will be pumped mentally, too. When you feel the rush, you will want to exercise more and more. Furthermore, it boosts your mood and mental activity.

If you are constantly sitting at a desk, looking at a computer screen, and being inactive in general, your brain slowly starts to shut down. It seems like it is asleep. Your memory is bad, your thinking is slowed down, and your mind wanders. However, all this can be improved by simply working out. By changing your daily routine from stagnate to active, you can become more motivated to achieve your goals.

3. Acquire a new skill

Let’s imagine your career has fallen apart. You have been a teacher for most of your life, or an accountant, for example, and now you are jobless. There is no prospect for you in this industry anymore – so, what do you do? Well, probably the best (and maybe the craziest) solution would be to start over. This means learning a new set of skills from scratch.

Whatever is in, at the moment, try and get into it. If designers or IT people are in demand, then you could learn a skill from that spectrum. Who knows what could happen; perhaps, in a year or so, you could find a better job.

Building new skills is always a good idea. You could earn some extra money on the side, or use them in dire situations like the one mentioned above. Moreover, you will become more knowledgeable in general. Education should be your priority, even after finishing high school and university.

4. Change your diet plan

Another way you might be exposing yourself to toxicity is through your diet. If you are hooked on fast food and other heavily processed products, you jeopardize both your physical and mental health. Poor food choices and lack of hydration could cause severe problems, such as a possible heart attack, breathing difficulties, and clotted arteries — to name a few. Plus, it could cause you to start losing confidence, happiness, and the will to be active.

Consulting a nutritionist would be the first step towards turning a new page. They could give you advice on what type of food to eat and how much of it you need on a daily basis. Instead of eating burgers all the time, you could throw in some fish, which would be a great positive change in your diet plan. Luckily for you, it is easy to prepare and there are many types of delicious fish. Go on a tryout spree until you find thebest-tasting fish. You should also stop consuming sodas and turn to water and organic juices. Sodas are filled with sugar and other additives, which don’t do your health any good.

5. Cut your expenses and start saving some money

If you are deep in the gutter, struggling to survive by the end of the month, then you are doing something wrong. The reason for this lack of funds is probably your unnecessary spending. If you want to save up some money, then you need to make a valid savings plan. This can help you in many different ways.

You could invest the money or save it for a rainy day. You could even go on a trip or two, if you learn how to be more frugal. The point is that having a backup stash of money is good. It could help you start your own business, move, or resolve any other problem. It could be a lifesaver and a life changer.

6. Turn off the TV

Every now and then, we are hit with an unexpected roadblock on our path to success or a better life. Sometimes, we can overcome them, but other times, they hit us hard. Naturally, we have strong reactions to these failures, and the most common one is giving up. However, you shouldn’t give up so easily.

There is still a chance to lift yourself up from the ground and possibly turn your life around. The timeframe could be a few months, a year, or more – it really doesn’t matter. What matters is that you are once again satisfied and on the right track.

You might wonder how this turnaround is possible. The truth is that all you need is determination and a small push. You can start small, by changing your diet or turning off the TV. A tiny change now can become something bigger later in life. With that said, here are some ways you can start turning your life around.

1. Put an end to all toxic relationships

When I say relationship, I mean any kind of interpersonal relationship — with your parents, siblings, partners, or friends. Any toxic relationship is harmful for both you and the other party. Having to constantly fight with someone, or be surrounded by negativity, is pure damage to your system. No matter what the other person thinks or feels, you shouldn’t allow them to ruin your mood.

Moreover, you shouldn’t let their negativity have any effect on you. The worst thing that could happen is for the relationship to turn mentally abusive. For example, if your friend doesn’t support or encourage you, then what is the point of being friends? If they are not on your side, they are not your friend.

Just ask yourself what you want and need, and whether you are getting that from the relationship in question. If there is no space for your personal growth, then the best solution would be to end it. For once, put yourself first.

Do not confine yourself inside the walls of your house, sitting in front of the TV screen day and night. No matter how many hours you spend watching TV, it won’t teach you anything. You will not grow and develop if you continue like this. The advertisements, talk shows, reality stars, and all the rest, will not teach you anything. There is no value to what they are selling.

You would be better off reading a book, going for a walk, or having lunch with friends. Even if there is a show or a movie you like on, you could always watch it online. The news and other important stuff could be followed through newspapers or online. The TV has become obsolete and you should move past it.

It is safe to say that it doesn’t take much for you to turn your life around. By taking these baby steps, you will train yourself to be better and endure until your new life begins. Give it a try. You never know what could be waiting on the new page of your life — so be brave and turn it over.

Featured photo credit: https://www.flickr.com/photos/yashna13/ via flickr.com

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